Ayikho imindeni ekahle. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu bazama kangakanani ukukholelwa othandweni lwaphakade futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bafunga kanjani ukuthembeka, ngisho nesibhakabhaka asinamafu. Ngakho-ke, izingxabano, ukuphahlazeka nokungavumelani empilweni yomshado kungenakugwemeka. Kodwa kuyinto eyodwa yokwesaba ukulindela omunye umngcele omnyama ebuhlotsheni, futhi kungenye indlela ukwazi imithetho yokubambisana nokukwazi ukubhebhethekisa izingxabano ngisho nangaphambi kokuba kwenzeke. Yingakho isihloko sezinkinga zomndeni, angeke silahlekelwe ukuhambisana kwayo.
Izimo zezinkinga zempilo yomndeni
Njengoba isaga esisodwa sithi: ngubani ohlomile uxwayiswe ngaphambili. Ukuphila komndeni akulona njalo okubikezelwayo, kodwa ulwazi lwe-psychology lobuhlobo selusindise imibhangqwana eminingi futhi lokhu kunzima ukuphikisana. Amagagasi abhekana nomkhumbi wempilo yomndeni ahluke kakhulu. Ekuqaleni, ukungena emnyunyeni, abantu ababili abahlukene bayoshelwa ukulutha, ukugaya, ukuhluka okuncane nokukhulu nokuvikela imibono yabo kanye nezithakazelo zabo. Lezi zingqinamba zikhonjiswe ekuzalweni kwezingane, ezikhulayo, izimo zokuphila kanye nekhwalithi yokuphila, nezinye izizathu ezingabangela inkinga yomshado. Yingakho kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi yini okufanele ukulungele nokuthi kungani izikhathi ezithile zokuphila okuhlangene zingaba yingxaki. Ngakho-ke, ngokwezengqondo eziningi kwengqondo nangokwezibalo, izinkinga zempilo yomndeni ngeminyaka zibukeka kanje.
Inkinga yonyaka wokuqala wokuphila komndeni
Le nkathi ibonakala ukulutha komlingani omusha kumngane, kumakhelwane kanye nemikhuba, kanye nokuziphatha ekuphileni kwansuku zonke. Ukuqala ukuqala, lapho imizwa endala engekho ekhanyayo, okuvame ukushaqisa lo mbhangqwana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlambalazana nokuxabana kuqala, ngoba imibono namazinga omndeni womndeni aqala ukuwa futhi awafani ncamashi njengoba abashadile bacabanga.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Ukuze basinde ngalesi sikhathi ngokungahambisani kahle, abashadile kufanele bafunde ukusabalalisa imisebenzi phakathi kwabo, benze izinqumo ndawonye bese bezama ukwenza ukuyekethisa kunoma yiziphi izingxabano.
Inkinga yeminyaka emithathu yokuphila komndeni
Ngemva kweminyaka emithathu, abashadile baqala ukuthembela komunye nomunye futhi bazame ukushintsha okuthile ekuphileni kwabo. Abanye baqala ukuxhumana nabantu abadala, abanye bazama ukushintsha indawo yabo yomsebenzi, njll. Futhi, inkinga yokuphila komndeni, uma iphenduka iminyaka emithathu ubudala, ibonakala ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi inezingane. Akuwona wonke umuntu ophendula ngokulinganayo nomthwalo wemfanelo owela emahlombe. Amama, agxilwe yizingane, agxeke abayeni bokungalaleli nokuntula ukunakekelwa, futhi labo abazizwa bengenangqondo futhi abangadingekile.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Kubudlelwane abuyi kuhlahloka, kule nkathi kubalulekile ukuzigcina ungumuntu owake wakuthanda isigamu sesibili. Uma kungumbuzo wokukhulisa ingane encane, kudingekile ukuthi ufunde ukuthembela komunye nomunye inqubo eyinkimbinkimbi futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ungakhohlwa ukuthi ngaphandle kwengane kukhona namanje imizwa nokwenza into enhle komunye nomunye.
Inkinga yokuphila komndeni iminyaka engu-5-7
Njengoba behlala ndawonye iminyaka ethile, futhi beguqule indlela yokuphila, abalingani baqala ukupholisa phansi komunye nomunye. Ngokwezinga elikhulu, lokhu kusebenza kumadoda umzimba womlingani osevele ubhekwa njengencwadi efundwayo noma bakhononda ukuthi ubuhlobo bulahlekelwe uthando lwawo lwangaphambili. Ngalesi sikhathi, kunezinguquko ezinkulu kakhulu ezivumela ukuthi lo mbhangqwana uphinde uzizwe unesifiso sangaphambili. Kukhona isikhathi sokukhula komsebenzi kwabesifazane abaye bahlala isikhathi eside behlala nengane. Ukululama ngokomzwelo nesifiso sokushintsha konke akuhambisani nezifiso zamadoda, okungaholela emiphumeleni eyingozi.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Kulesi simo, ngamunye wabalingani kufanele anqume ukungabi nhlanga, ozohola ngaphezulu noma enze umsebenzi. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kule nkinga ingaba inkululeko yokuzikhethela eyethulwa abashade nomunye nomunye, isb. ukuphila ngesimiso: "Uma ufuna ukuhlala, ake uhambe." Ukubuyisa imizwa endala akuyona umqondo omuhle kakhulu. Kungcono ukuwavuselela ngosizo lweholide elihlangene noma emini yothando lomndeni.
Inkinga yomndeni iminyaka eyishumi
Lokhu kuhlanganisa ubunzima bokuphila komndeni iminyaka engu-12 no-13. Kubonakala sengathi ngemva kwesikhathi eside akukho lutho olungazwakalisa indlela yomndeni. Kodwa-ke, phakathi nalesi sikhathi, umlingani ngamunye uqala inkinga yakhe yobudala, ephoqelela ukubukeka emuva, nokuhlola ukuthi kwenzekani empilweni. Abaningi besaba ukuthi kukhona isikhathi esincane kakhulu esisele futhi udinga ukuqala impilo kusukela ekuqaleni. Lesi yisikhathi sesibili esiyinkimbinkimbi, lapho, ngokuphishekela ubusha, abashadile baqala ukupholisa phansi futhi bashintshane.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Ngesikhathi sokuqala kokuzijabulisa komuntu siqu, akudingeki ukuba ungene ngaphakathi kwakho. Kungcono ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga kanye nezimangalo zokuphila ndawonye. Abashadile babalulekile ukuba babe nokusekelwa okungaphezulu komunye nomunye kunokuba kwakunjalo ngaphambili. Iminyaka engu-10-13 kunzima ukugcina ukukhathazeka, kepha ukuba ngaba abangane beqiniso futhi ungaxabani ngezidanganiso - umsebenzi uyakwazi ngempela.
Inkinga yokuphila okuhlangene
Eyaziwa ngokuthi abashadile baqala isikhathi "sezulu esiyize" - izingane zikhula futhi zigijima, futhi uma nje zigcina umndeni ndawonye, khona-ke emshadweni kungenzeka kube khona ukuphazamiseka.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Kubalulekile ukuthi abashade bakhumbule ukuthi ukushiya abantwana ekhaya kuyithuba elihle lokuqala ubuhlobo obusha, njengoba kwakunjalo ebusheni bakhe. Ngokuphathelene nobuhlobo obuseduze, kungenzeka ukuthi uzame okuthile okusha nokuhlola embhedeni. Futhi ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhle, kwanele ukuphatha umlingani wakho ngesisa nokunakwa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho ngenhla, kukhona okuthiwa izinkinga zomndeni ezingezona ezijwayelekile.
Kunoma yikuphi, ukwazi ukuthi izikhathi ezithile zokuphila okuhlangene kungaba yisikhathi esinzima, kubalulekile ukuba uzilungele. Ngokushesha nje lapho umuzwa wenkinga elandelayo ifika, udinga ukuqoqa amandla futhi uhumushe ubuhlobo ngendlela emisha. Khumbula ukuthi ngeminyaka yothando akupheli. Iyashintsha futhi ivumela abashadile ukuba benze okutholakala okusha ebuhlotsheni.