I-adolescence ibizwa ngokufanele njengezikhathi ezibucayi empilweni yomuntu. Abazali abaningi bayalindela ngentshiseko ingane yabo ukuba ingene kule "yingozi" yobudala. Bayazi ukuthi kuzofika isikhathi lapho ukuziphatha kwengane noma indodakazi yabo kuzoshintsha ngandlela-thile. Imithetho yokuziphatha eyasungulwa ngaphambili kanye nokwenza izinqumo emndenini iba yisikhathi esingasebenzi, futhi kuzodingeka ukuthi ufune enye into. Futhi ngezindlela eziningi isisombululo esizokhipha enkingeni yakhe, sizoxhomekeka kunjani uhlobo lomuntu oluzokhula kulo.
Uma abazali bebazi kusengaphambili indlela ingane yabo ebonakala ngayo ngesikhathi sokukhula, kungaba lula ngabo ukuba balungiselele lesi sigaba esinzima. Kodwa kaningi ngisho ngisho nentsha ngokwazo ayiqondi ukuthi kwenzekani kubo nokuthi kungani zibonakalisa ngokwayo ngaleyo ndlela. Amantombazane kubhekwa njengengozi kusukela eminyakeni engu-11 kuya kweyishumi nambili ubudala. Abafana nabo babhekene nenkinga yesibindi kamuva - eminyakeni engu-12-18. Inkinga yeminyaka engumfana ilandela umgomo onjengokuzimela, umzabalazo wesimo somuntu ogcwele. Futhi kusukela emphakathini wanamuhla izidingo zokuzimela kwamadoda ziphakeme, kubafana izinkinga zenkinga yokukhula ziyingozi kakhulu.
Izici zenkinga yokukhula
Inkinga yenkinga yezingane ayinakuqalwa njengento eyingozi kuphela. Yebo, kuwumzabalazo wokuzimela, kodwa umzabalazo owenzeka ezindaweni eziphephile. Esikhathini salo mzabalazo, akuzona kuphela izidingo zendodana noma intombazane ezanelisekile ngokwazi nokwazi ukuzimela, kodwa futhi nezindlela zokuziphatha ezizosetshenziselwa ukunqoba izimo ezinzima lapho umuntu ekhulile ehlonishwa.
Ezingqondweni, inselele yobusha ichazwe izimpawu ezimbili eziphambene kakhulu: inkinga yokuthembela kanye nenkinga yokuzimela. Zombili zenzeka lapho umntwana ngamunye ekhula, kodwa omunye wabo uhlale elawula.
- Ngenxa yenkinga yokuzimela, inkani, ukungabi nandaba, ukukhukhumeza, ukuzifunela, ukwehla kwabantu abadala nokuziphatha okungacabangi ngokuqondene nezidingo zabo, imibhikisho-ukuxhaphaza kanye nobunikazi bomhlaba yizici.
- Inkinga yokuthembela ibonakala ngokulalela ngokweqile, kuncike esimeni esidala, ukubuyela emikhubeni endala, ukuziphatha, ukuthanda nokuthanda.
Ngamanye amazwi, lo mfana uzama ukwenza i-jerk futhi ahambe ngaphezu kwemigomo esungulwe ekuqaleni, esivele ikhulile kuyo. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, ulindele ukuthi abantu abadala bamnike ukuphepha kwalesi sifo, ngoba le ntsha isengakhuli ngokwanele ngokwengqondo nangomphakathi.
Ngokuvamile, ukubusa kwenkinga yokulutha umlutha ebusheni kuyathandeka kakhulu kubazali. Bajabula ngokuthi ngenxa yobuhlobo babo obuhle nengane azikho izinsongo. Kodwa ngokuthuthukiswa komuntu osemusha, le nketho ayihle kakhulu. Isikhundla esithi "Ngisemncane futhi ngifuna ukuhlala" sikhuluma ngokuzethemba nokukhathazeka. Ngokuvamile le ndlela yokuziphatha iqhubeka ngisho nalapho ikhulile, ivimbela umuntu ukuba angene ilungu eligcwele lomphakathi.
Ungasiza kanjani intsha ukuba isinde enkingeni?
Ukududuza kwabazali "abahlubuki" kungase kube ukuthi lezo zinkinga izimpawu zizibonakalisa ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa zingabuyekezwa kaningi, futhi isibonelo sokukhuliselwa kuzodingeka sishintshwe. Njengoba sinikezwe izici zenkinga yokukhula, okuyizona ezifanelekayo kubazali yisitayela esihloniphekile sokukhulelwa, okusho ukulawulwa okuqinile ekuziphatheni kwengane, okungahlehlisi isithunzi sakhe. Imithetho yomdlalo kufanele isungulwe ngenkathi ingxoxo yawo wonke amalungu omndeni, ecatshangelwa imibono yabantwana abakhulile. Lokhu kuzobanika ithuba lokubonisa ngokwanele isinyathelo nokuzimela, ukwandisa ukuzithiba nokuzethemba.