Kutholakale kaningi ngenxa yokuqedwa kobudlelwane ukuze bahlale bengabangane, uma kunjalo umphumela ongenakwenzeka, uma ukuphulwa kwenzeka ngenxa yokuhlubuka. Futhi yini okumele yenziwe, ukuthi ungabuyiseli kanjani kumuntu owayengumholi wokuhlubuka, ngenxa yobuhlungu obubangelwa ukukhashelwa? Cha, yebo, kukhona enye indlela - ukuthethelela nokukhululwa, kodwa kubonakala kithi ngokuvamile kuvunyelwe, ikakhulukazi uma intukuthelo nokuthukuthela kuhamba ngegazi.
Ngakho ungaziphindisela kanjani kumfana oyeka? Okokuqala, udinga ukunquma ukuthi kukhona yini isifiso sokukubona empilweni yakho noma ikhefu eliphelele ebuhlotsheni. Uma kukhona ithemba lokuvuselela ubuhlobo, ukuphindiselela ngeke kube yindlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma, ngakho-ke uzoqhubeka uqinisekisa umlingani wokufaneleka kwesinqumo sakhe sokuqeda nawe. Futhi ukuthi unqume kanjani ukuthi ngeke ube nekusasa elivamile, futhi uma isifiso sokuphindiselela ukuhlubuka asilahlekile, ke sihlela ukuthi umuntu wangaphambili "impilo ejabulisayo."
Izindlela zokuphindiselela kumfana
- Ukushaya eshibhile kakhulu. Wonke umuntu unayo "amathoyizi" athandwa kakhulu enhliziyweni yakhe - ikhompyutha, imoto, izintandokazi ezithandayo. Yini okufanele siyenze nabo siza ngokuzimela, kodwa sikwenza ukuze ukubonakala kwento kuphelelwe ithemba.
- Mhlawumbe u-ex wakho ucatshangelwe umsebenzi kanye nedumela lakho? Ngakho kufanelekile ukuyiphanga. Isibonelo, ukuxoxa ngenhliziyo nentombazane engxoxweni kanye nendebe yetiyi utshele zonke izimfihlo "ezimbi" zomculi. Noma wenze izithombe zakhe siqu kwenye yezinhlelo zokuxhumana zomphakathi zitholakale esidlangalaleni.
- Ingabe u-ex wakho unabangane? Ngakho-ke mhlawumbe kufanelekile ukumnciphisa omunye wabo? Cha, akukhona ngokuqedwa komzimba, kuyinveli nomngani wakho omkhulu womngane wakho.
- Uyazi yini ukukhathazeka kwamanje kwe-isoka lakho lesandulela? Ungakwazi ukuxoxa naye nge-girlish, uzwela, njengomngane enhlekeleleni. I-pier, lo mfana omuhle kakhulu, kodwa kakade ubuhlungu hhayi ukuzimela ngokwabo futhi uthathwe, ngokushesha nje lapho intombazane entsha ibona, ngakho akunakwenzeka ukugcina noma yikuphi amandla. Khona-ke, libuya, liphenduka, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi liba yisithukuthezi, ngakho empeleni bahlukana. Yebo, yebo, nguwe owayengumqalisi wekhefu, futhi akushiyanga.
- Kukhona yini ngempela isifiso sokuveza ubuhlobo obunobungane nomsebenzi wokuzilibazisa omusha wesoka lakhe langaphambili? Khona-ke sidinga nje ukubamba umzuzu lapho bezoba ndawonye, mhlawumbe endaweni egcwele indawo, futhi bazise ngokuzwakalayo mayelana nokungabonakali kwayo, njengabantu (kanye kanye, futhi kaningi akudingekile).
Uthole kanjani indlela yokuba yinto enhle noma ingabe kungaba nonya ukuphindiselela ku-isoka yangaphambili? Cha, khona-ke mhlawumbe ubuhlungu nokukhathazeka sekuvele kancane kancane futhi uyakwazi ukuzindla ngokucophelela? Bheka, zonke izindlela ezingenhla zingakhipha ngempela umonile wakho izikhathi eziningi ezingathandeki, kodwa azikwazi ukukubeka ekukhanyeni okuhle kakhulu. Yebo, neveli enenhloso yokuziphindiselela, akunakwenzeka ukukuletha imizwelo emihle, cishe uzoshiya ubuhlungu nokucasula ubuwula bakhe kanye nokukhathazeka kwakhe. Ngabe kufanelekile ukuba uziqhekeze, mhlawumbe nje uzama ukuhlala ngaphandle kwalowo muntu? Futhi ukuze uphile ukuze kuvele kwacaca kuye ukuthi isenzo sakhe sikukhulule kuphela ekukhunjweni, savumela ukuba ukhululeke. Yiqiniso, kuzodingeka senze imizamo. Isibonelo, shintsha isithombe, bhalisa ku-gym noma uzifake ukuzilibazisa okuye kwahlala kusithakazelo kuwo, kodwa ngandlela-thile izandla azifinyelelanga. Kuyoba kuhle ukukhetha into enjalo yokuzilibazisa, lapho unikezwa khona
Uzocela kuphi impindiselo? Ngakho indlela enhle kakhulu futhi enonya kakhulu yokuziphindiselela kumfana wokuhlambalaza ukukhombisa ukuthi ngaphandle kwakhe awuhlali kabi nakakhulu, noma mhlawumbe kungcono nakakhulu. Siza ukubhola kwakho futhi ubuke nezithombe ezivela kumaqembu, okubekiwe kuma-albhamu wesithombe esesidlangalaleni.