"Wangibheka mina soooo!" Yebo, ucabanga nje into eyodwa kuphela! Kubonakala sengathi uyangithanda. " Uyavumelana, imisho ejwayelekile? Ngokuqinisekile, ngamunye wethu okungenani kanye empilweni yami wakhuluma ngezinkulumo ezifanayo ekuxoxweni nabangani. Ngezinye izikhathi sonke sicabanga ukuthi umuntu wesilisa ubi kakhulu, futhi sikhuluma nabo ngezilimi ezahlukene. Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi i-psychology yalabafana ihluke ngokuphelele kumsikazi, futhi ukucabanga kwabo ngeke kuhambisane nencazelo yesifazane. Yini okufanele uyenze, nokuthi ungathola kanjani ulimi oluvamile namadoda ethu? Ake sizame ukuqonda.
I-psychology yalabafana - indlela yokuyiqonda?
Okokuqala, siqala ukucabanga ngobudlelwane nokuqala kokukhula. Futhi kulokhu kuleso sikhathi, futhi lihlala eminyakeni engu-14 kuya ku-22, imibono yokuphila ishintshe ngaphansi kwengcindezi yezimo kanye nesipiliyoni. Bonke abantu banalobudala ngabanye. Kodwa nokho, kunezici ezivamile ezikhathalela wonke umuntu.
I-psychology yama-young guys ingahlukaniswa ngezigaba eziningana. Zonke zixhomeke eminyakeni kanye nezidingo eziholayo ngaleso sikhathi futhi, ngokungangabazeki, kuthinta ubudlelwane namantombazane.
I-Psychology yabafana eminyakeni engu-14. Leli zinkathi kunzima kakhulu ukuqala noma yimuphi ubuhlobo. Umqondo wothando kumadoda udidekile ngomzwelo wezocansi. Futhi uma ucabanga ukuthi amantombazane kule minyaka anesimo sengqondo sobudlelwane bokuthandana ngokomzwelo, ezimweni eziningi ubuhlobo buphela ngemfundiso yenkolo yokuthi "badinga eyodwa kuphela."
I-Psychology yabafana eminyakeni engu-16-17. Le nkathi iyamangalisa ngoba iningi lalaba bafana seliqedile kakade ngemizwa yabo kanye nemibono yezwe. Lesi yisikhathi sothando oluhlanzekile olukhanyayo lokuqala. Ukunamathiswa komfana entombazaneni ngalesi sikhundla kuphezulu kakhulu futhi ukuphela komshado oqaliswe intombazane kungaba yinkinga enkulu yengqondo yomfana. Kodwa futhi, ungakhohlwa ngohlobo lwesibili lwamadoda asebefuna ukuhleleka kwawo. Uma uqaphela ukuthi insizwa yakho ikhuluma nentombazane yakho inesithakazelo esifanayo njengoba enza nawe, noma ihlale ijwayele ukujwayele, kufanelekile ukucabangela, kodwa awunayo yini indoda yamadoda omdala?
Psychology of the boys eminyakeni 18-20. Leli zinga kuze kube ngesilinganiso esifanayo kuzo zobulili zombili zihlotshaniswa nokukhethwa kobuchwepheshe kanye nencazelo yendawo yomuntu empilweni. Ubuntu babantu ngokuvamile buvele bwakhiwe, futhi bacabange ngokucacile ikusasa labo. Lapha ungakwazi ukuhlangabezana nezinhlobo eziningana zabantu abasha:
- uhlobo lokuqala lwezinto zonke lunentshisekelo ngaphandle kwamantombazane. Njengomthetho, laba bangabesilisa, abacatshangelwe ngemisebenzi, izimoto noma abangani. Uma uhlangene nalolu hlobo, uyazi ukuthi "akazange ahambe", noma ngokuphambene nalokho, empilweni yakhe kukhona kakade ubudlelwane lapho ashisa khona;
- uhlobo lwesibili lwabafana, ngokuphambene nalokho, lulungiswa kakhulu emkhakheni obuthakathaka. Abantu abanjalo bavulekile kakhulu ezinkampanini, babe nezifiso eziningi, futhi ungaphumi isiketi esisodwa. Futhi amantombazane anabo bantu abanjalo baphumelela kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukukhumbula - i-psychology yokuziphatha kwababantu balolu hlobo kubonakala sengathi kukhona inqwaba yezinkimbinkimbi kanye nesifiso sokuzibiza;
- Mayelana nohlobo lwesithathu lwabafana, inkolelo edumekazi yesifazane ethi "wonke amadoda amahle asevele ahlala" akhiwa. Bangabantu abazimele abathandana ubuhlobo babo futhi bahloniphe abathandekayo babo. Imfihlo yokungafani kwalabafana ilula - okuningi lapha kuxhomeke nentombazane uqobo. Yini okudingeka uyenze ukuze uthole lo mfana? Ake siqonde kabanzi.
Psychology of the guys ebuhlotsheni
Njengombana sikhuluma nge-logic yesilisa, masiqede yoke i-myths ngothando eyenziwe yingqondo yabesifazane. Abafana abasoze bacabange njengokucabanga kwethu. Uma ufuna ukuqonda insizwa yakho, funda ukucabanga ukuthi kulula. Ukucabanga ngezinkinga ezihlukahlukene, ukwesaba kusuka ekuqaleni, udwebe izithombe ezimbi zokukhwabanisa ekhanda ngemuva kokuba umfana ofika edolobheni abe ngumuntu oyedwa wesifazane. Amadoda acabanga ngokuhlukile. Abakhathaleli ukuthi kumuntu othile ophethe ijezi elifana naye, abasoze babhekana ngenxa yezinwele zabo, ukugcoba, isikhumba esomile sobuso ngisho nezinkulungwane zezinkinga ezincane zezinsikazi. Uma ufuna umuntu omuhle eduze kwakho, khumbula imithetho embalwa elula:
- amadoda anjengamehlo. Ngesizathu esithile, abantu abaningi bakhohlwa ngaleli qiniso. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izwe lakho elingaphakathi lihle kangakanani, ukubukeka kuyoba okubaluleke kakhulu. Akudingekile ukuba ube mnandi. Vele wazi ukuthi uzizinake kanjani futhi uzethule kahle;
- emadodeni abagezayo azohlale efana nabafana abancane, amathoyizi kuphela aneminyaka yobudala azoqina. Ngakho-ke, abangane, izimoto nezinye ubuthakathaka besilisa bazohlale bekhona ekuphileni kwakho naye. Yazi ukuthi ungaqonda kanjani futhi wamukele;
- umuntu uqobo ungumnqobi. Labafana bazalwa ngokweqile bafaka isifiso sobuholi.
Ngakho-ke, ungalokothi ushiye isikhundla sakho. Kumelwe ube njalo imfihlakalo engakatholakali. Ungazivumeli ukuba ungathandeki; - amadoda akathandanga ukuveza imizwelo. Futhi uma imizwa yakho ecacile ihlonipha, noma ungabhali imiyalezo izikhathi ezingu-200 ngosuku, lokhu akusho ukuthi abakuthandi. Amadoda nje agcina imizwa yabo ejulile emiphefumulweni yabo.
I-psychology yomfana othandweni akuyona into enzima njengoba ibonakala ekuqaleni. Uma unikezwa izimbali futhi unezibonakaliso zokunaka, ngakho-ke, uyathanda, futhi uzozama ukunqoba. Ukukhipha lapha akuvamile kakhulu. Uma le nsizwa inesithakazelo kuwe, uzokwenza konke ukukuvala. Futhi umsebenzi wakho ukuqiniseka ukuthi isithakazelo sakhe kuwe asipheli. Ungenzi amahlazo, umethembe, umtshele ukuthi uyadingeka futhi uyathandwa. Khona-ke impilo yakho iyogcwala injabulo yobuhlobo obuvumelanayo futhi obukhululekile.