Kubonakala sengathi wonke amantombazane azi ukuthi angadlala kanjani nomfana, kodwa abanye bafuna ukufunda indlela yokwenza kahle. Ukuchaza ukuthi abameleli bobulili obuhlukile basabela ngokudlala ngothando hhayi ngendlela abayithandayo. Kusukela ufunde ukudlala ngothando nomfana ngendlela efanele, ingabe lo mdlalo ongenacala kufanele uqale ngandlela-thile ngendlela ekhethekile? Eqinisweni, akekho onganika izincomo ezicacile - bonke abantu bahlukile, ngakho-ke baphenduke ngokuhlukile ngezindlela zethu. Futhi ungamlingisi noma ubani, ngoba wonke wesifazane unesithakazelo ebusweni bakhe, ngubani odinga izitembu ezichotshiwe? Kodwa, naphezu kwakho konke lokhu, kunamaqhinga amaningana ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi asiza abesifazane ukuba banikeze lo mbonakaliso wesithakazelo kuye.
Ungafunda kanjani ukudlala ngothando nomfana?
- Sekushiwo ngenhla ukuthi ukudlala ngothando kungumdlalo ongapheli ngombhede, konke kuxhomeke kulokho okuzibekela wena. Futhi uma uqala ukudlala ngothando nomuntu, udinga ukucacisa ngokucacile ukuthi yini oyifunayo kulolu duel lokubukwa - ubulili noma nje udinga ukudlala ngothando ukuze uchithe isikhathi, ukhokhiswe ngemizwelo emihle (intshisekelo yobulili obuhlukile isebenza kangcono kunothokolethi), njll. Futhi sesinqume umgomo, senza ngokufanele. Uma ungafuni ukufika phezulu, akudingi ukusikisela okucacile kocansi, kuzokwanela isithakazelo esilula kuphela.
- Sonke siyazi ukuthi intombazane ukuqala ukuthandana ayinhlamba. Nakuba abesifazane besimanje abafisa ukugcizelela ukukhululwa kwabo abasaba namahloni kakhulu ukukhombisa isinyathelo kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila, akukafanelekile ukwenza lokhu, ukuqala ukudlala ngothando. Uma kungenjalo, ubeka ingozi yokuzinqanda umdlalo onentshisekelo, ngakho ungasheshi. Ngakho-ke, yini okudingeka uyenze ukuze ubonise lowo muntu isithakazelo sakhe? Kulula - udinga ngempela ukuba nesithakazelo kule ndoda futhi ukhululeke ngokuphelele - ukuziphatha kwakho kuzokutshela konke - ngolimi lwezenzo abazi ukuthi bangakusho kanjani konke, ngisho noma bengazi ngakho. Konke okudingayo ukubuka okuthakazelisayo (kungenjalo kwenzeka ukubhoboza ngokucophelela into enamehlo akho, njengokungathi uyakhokhela imali), ukumomotheka okuqotho, nokuzitika okukhululekile. Phela, kunoma yikuphi okufunayo ukufuna ukuthokozisa ngokudlala ngothando, faka ngakho futhi ujabulele umdlalo usuvele emaminithini ayo okuqala.
- Awu, nangu isikhathi eside, kunokubukeka okuvamile, umzimba othunyelwe ngokuqondisa into ekhangiwe yenze umphumela wawo, futhi kuvela ingxenye efana nobunzima yalokhu kudlala - ingxoxo. Okushoyo akubalulekile kakhulu, into esemqoka ukuthi uzokwenza kanjani. Umthetho oyinhloko - tshela kancane, lalela kabanzi. Amadoda athande ukunqoba abesifazane besifazane wabo, ngakho kungani ungabaniki leli thuba. Futhi zonke izimvo ezizokhishwa akufanele ube ngamahloni, ulaka, isithakazelo sakho esiqotho, isifiso sakho sokusekela ingxoxo kubalulekile. Futhi esabisa i-interlocutor ngamazwi anzima, ubeka ingozi yokuyeka umdlalo kusengaphambili. Uma ikhefu engxoxweni selifikile, khona-ke indlela enhle yokuqhubeka nokuxhumana, kuyoba ukuncoma kumuntu. Ungumuntu, hhayi ukubonakala kwakhe. Isibonelo, ufuna ukudumisa izingubo zakhe (okufinyeleleka), yini okufanele uyenze? Ukusho okuthakazelisayo (okuhle, okuhle, kwangempela) wakhetha i-tie yakho (ifoni, i-dessert, njll). Yilokho, kubalulekile ukuphawula lutho, kodwa ikhono lomuntu lokulikhetha. Futhi-ke, ngesikhathi sokuthinta ukukhanya kwezingxoxo zamukelwa,
futhi ukugcizelela isithakazelo sabo engxoxweni. - Ungafunda kanjani ukudlala ngothando nomuntu? Kubonakala sengathi ngiyazi ukuthi ngizokwenzenjani, ngenza ngendlela efanele, kodwa nokho ayisebenzi. Isimo esivamile? Isizathu singase sibe ukukhululwa okwanele, ukuzethemba noma ukubukeka okungaphenduki. Ukubukeka kwalowo muntu umise nje kuwe, ungangabazi ukugcizelela nokubonisa isithunzi somuntu wakho. Ungazitholi ukugqoka izingubo ezingenangqondo, kungcono kunokumcindezela lo muntu, noma uzobona njengowesifazane onamandla kakhulu.