Ekukhulumisaneni nendoda, yonke intombazane ilindela kuye ukuziphatha okufanelekile eminyakeni yakhe. Kunzima nakakhulu, uma efika "indodana ka-mama", uyaxhomeke kakhulu kumfazi oyinhloko empilweni yakhe futhi akafuni ukwenza lutho ngakho.
"Indodana kaMama" - ngubani lo?
Ukuxhumana okuphakathi komama nomntwana kufakwe isimo semvelo ngokwayo: uma kuziwa ekukhanyeni, umntwana uthola ukudla, ukufudumala nokunakekelwa kuye. Okhulile uba, lapho ewela phansi ngaphansi kwethonya lobuhlanga , okudinga ukuthi umfana abe ohlakaniphile, nesibindi, ozimele ngunina. Akuwona wonke umzali onamandla okudweba umugqa phakathi kokwethemba nokuthandwa okuphelele ngesikhathi. Kuvela ukuthi "indodana ka-mama" ngumuntu omdala enezici ezilandelayo:
- Ukunamathiselwe kwengqondo kumama . Abanye besifazane bayaphikisana nesizinda saso, ngaphandle kokubheka ukukhangisa ngokocansi nokuhlakanipha.
- Ukubonakaliswa okubambezelekile kwalesi sici somlingiswa . Ukubona ukutholakala kwalo kunganikezwa esimweni sokuxhumana okuvamile nokufeza izinga elithile lokuzethemba.
- Ukungathembeki kwesikhungo somshado . "Indodana yenkosikazi kaMama" ingabaza ngokucacile ukuthi kufanelekile ukushintsha impilo yokuphila nomama onothando endleleni yokududuza nomunye intombazane, kodwa wayenomusa kuye.
"Indodana kaMama" - kwengqondo
Isikhathi sabantu sinesimo sengqondo, esiye sahlolisiswa odokotela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uneminyaka engakanani ubudala "indodana ka-mama", ogama lakhe lezengqondo libukeka njenge-symbiosis ye-phobia ukulahlekelwa isithandwa sakhe nesithandwa se- Oedipus . Lesi samuva sitholwe nguSigmund Freud, owayekholelwa ukuthi:
- Wonke umuntu obhekene nalesi sifo unjengenkosi u-Oedipus, owabulala uyise wakhe futhi washada nomama wakhe uJocasta.
- Umfana, njengoba uthando lwakhe lukhula, uqala ukuhawukela uyise.
- Uma okunamathiselwe kuthululwa ekukhangeni ngokocansi, intsha iqala ukwesaba ukuthi uyise uzosebenzisa udlame lomzimba kuye.
"Indodana kaMama" - izizathu
Ukunquma ukuhlupheka kwalesi sinkinga yengqondo ekuqaleni kwesigaba sokuzijwayeza akunakwenzeka. Uma umuntu okungenani enesipiliyoni esincane sokuxhumana nabesifazane, ngenhliziyo wayicabanga ukuthi uyaphumelela. "Indodana kaMama" nonina bayazi ukuthi akuzona zonke izintombi ezizokwenza isinqumo ngobuhlobo nomlingani onjalo. Izizathu zokuthembela komfana kunina zimi kanje:
- ukungabi nokuxhumana noontanga noma ukuhlekwa kwabo kokuhleka;
- isimo esingathandeki somzali ongenalo umbono ohlukile endlini;
- ukuvunyelwa ngumama nganoma yiziphi izenzo zomntwana, ngisho nasempandeni engalungile;
- ekwakheni umama wenganekwane yesidingo esiqhubekayo sendodana yakhe kuzo zonke izici zokuphila.
"Indodana kaMama" - izimpawu
Amantombazane amancane axhumane nezinkabi ezithembele kuletha ukuhlupheka nokuziphatha okusha. Okhulile owesifazane uba, uthola ulwazi oluningi futhi kulula kangakanani ukuba abone ukuthi yini abantu abayibiza ngokuthi "indodana yomama ojwayelekile". Lapho exhumana nobulili obuhlukile, unikezwa:
- Ukuhluleka ukuzixazulula ngokuzimela izinkinga ezinkulu, ngisho nesifiso sokubalekela kubo.
- I-serfdom futhi ingakhathazeki kuyo yonke into ehlobene nengxoxo yezinkinga zomndeni.
- Isidingo esikhulu somama, ngenxa yokuthi umfana ovela kunoma yikuphi isihloko uzoxoxa ngokufaneleka komfazi owabeletha.
"Indodana kaMama" - inzuzo kanye nokuqeda
Kumuntu onesimo sengqondo esifanayo emndenini, amantombazane amaningi angathola kuphela u-cons. Uhlamvu oluthambile nokwethembeka ekuthatheni izinqumo zomzali ziphonswa emehlweni. "Indodana kaMama" ebuhlotsheni bubukeka njengephutha elilodwa, kodwa futhi angathola izici:
- Uhlamvu lomlingani . Amadoda, asebe yingxenye yowesifazane, angeke azwele inhlangano engokomoya ehlakaniphile. Kungenzeka ukuthi bayothatha amafutha noma izimbali ezinhle kakhulu.
- Ukuncintisana . Lena yindlela elula yokuqonda ukuthi ngubani "indodana yowama", ukuthi ungamqaphela kanjani kumuntu. Uyenqaba kalula iphuzu lokubuka, lapho aqiniseka khona emaminithini ambalwa edlule.
- Ukunakekelwa okuphelele . Uzofika kalula, uma kunesidingo.
Ingxenye yesibili "yindodana kamama" kufanele ilungele ukubhekana nemiphumela emibi yokuphila komuntu onomama ohluphayo. Lokhu kufaka:
- ukungabi nesinyathelo;
- isidingo sokunakwa ngokwengeziwe;
- Ukubona umbono womama ezingeni leqiniso ekusebenziseni kokugcina;
- ukuguqula umthwalo emahlombe omngane wokuphila;
- ukwesaba ukwenza izinqumo.
"Indodana kaMama" - indlela yokubhekana nalokhu?
Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi abafana abanjalo abaveli emindenini egcwele, lapho kunendawo yokunethezeka kwengqondo. Phakathi kwabesifazane abanamandla, abesifazane abaningi, badumala emkhakheni ohlukile. Uma kukhona ubaba kulo mndeni, udlala indima ebalulekile ekuthathweni kwezinqumo. "Indodana kaMama" isifo somuntu ozizwa ephakathi kwendawo yonke kusukela ebuntwaneni futhi uyaqonda ukuthi akekho ozoqagela izifiso zakhe ngendlela efanayo nonina. Phakathi kwemigomo eyisisekelo yentombazane esendleleni yokulwa nomfazi onamandla kangaka , kufanele ihlanganise:
- ukulingana lapho uxhumana nomndeni wakhe;
- ukuhlakanipha ngokuthatha isinyathelo ngasinye ekuxhumaneni nesoka;
- ukubekezela okungenamkhawulo ngesikhathi sokumiswa komuntu kumama wakhe.
Indoda - "iNdodana kaMama" - iseluleko somqondo wezengqondo
Omagazini abamnyama besifazane ngezwi elilodwa bakhuthaza abafundi bokungathembeki kokuxhumana nomfana onjalo. Baqiniseka ngokuqinisekile ukuthi "indodana ka-mama" ingunaphakade. Izazi ze-Psychologists azifani nezezici: bacabanga ukuthi ungagcina isikhathi futhi uthathe iphoyinti eliqinile lokuxhumana phakathi komzali nenzalo. Ukuze unqobe umncintiswano onamandla, udinga:
- Yeka impi evulekile . Indoda ayikwazi ukubonisa ngokungafuni umama wayo. Ukuhleka usulu nokuthuka ekhelini lakhe, ngeke abekezelele futhi uzobalekela.
- Chaza ngokucacile imingcele yokuphila komuntu siqu . Uma kungabikho ukuphikisana okuqondile, kunzima ukusetha ngokucacile umugqa lapho umama akufanele ahambe khona.
- Cabanga ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwamanye amaphutha abantu . "Indodana kaMama" ngemuva kokuhlukanisa isenzele ukukhetha, yingakho ethatha abesifazane ngokucasuka nokusola.