Ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile

Inkinga yobuhlobo nendoda eshadile ibudala njengesikhungo somshado. Ngeshwa, imizwa ayikwazi ukuphoqelelwa ukuba ikhethe into efanele yokudumisa, ngakho-ke, ukuba nobuzenzisi obulahliwe futhi uvale amehlo akho esimweni sokuziphatha nokuziphatha kwenkinga, masiqonde izici zengqondo zobudlelwano nomuntu oshadile.

Psychology of ubudlelwano nomuntu oshadile

Abesifazane abancane abanobudlelwane ne-"ringed" abakhethiweyo, bavame ukuqinisekiswa ukuthi, uthi, akakhululekile emndenini, umfazi we-bitch, futhi kuphela kimi uthola imfudumalo efanele. Ngokwengxenye, lo mbono uqinisile: empeleni, iningi lamadoda ngeke liguqule isigamu sabo sesibili uma bonke noma cishe bonke (ngemuva kwakho konke, akukho buhlobo obuhle) emikhatsini wempilo yomndeni. Kodwa-ke, kunezibonelo ezinjalo ezihambisana ncamashi nesithi "zingaki izimpisi ezingondli ...". Ngamanye amazwi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umfazi wakhe uyamangalisa kanjani, futhi isimo sezulu esihle, impilo yansuku zonke, nombhede, akakwazi ukuhamba "ngakwesokunene" nganoma iyiphi indlela. Kunezinhlobo eziningana zabesifazane abathintekayo:

1. Thayipha eyodwa "isithembu" . Amadoda anjalo awakwazi ukuthola konke ukunakwa nokufudumala abadinga ebuhlotsheni nomunye oyedwa wesifazane. Ngokuvamile babekhuliswe ndawonye nonogogo nomama, futhi abajwayele ukukhetha phakathi kwabesifazane ababili. Ngendlela, ngokuvamile umfazi kanye nenkosikazi yendoda enjalo bahambisana nezengqondo zikagogo nomama. Ngakho-ke, umane uvuselele isimo esazijwayele kusukela ebuntwaneni.
2. Uhlobo lwesibili "umqoqo" . Kumuntu onjalo, owesifazane ovamile njalo uyisidingo esivumelekile. Akakwazi nje ukuyeka, kulo mncintiswano waphakade ukuqinisekisa ubukhulu bakhe. Ngisho noma ekwazi ukufaka indandatho yakhe, umkakhe, kufanelekile ukuvumelanisa nomqondo wokuthi ngeke ahlale ewodwa owesifazane empilweni yakhe (ngisho neyodwa kokubili, i-akhawunti ngokuvamile iya emazweni amaningi). Ubudlelwano nomuntu onjalo oshadile ngeke kube isikhathi eside, ngoba akuyona injongo yakhe, futhi uqala ukucindezeleka ngokushesha.
3. Thayipha kathathu - "imidlalo yemidlalo eyedlulele" - okufana nohlobo oludlule, kodwa injongo yalo akuyona ukunqoba kothando. Uyakuthanda i-cocktail ye-endorphins ne-adrenaline ehlasela egazini lakhe ekuqaleni kwawo wonke amanoveli amasha. Ngokuvamile uthola ubudlelwane obuthile ngesikhathi esisodwa, ngakho-ke bekuthakazelisa kakhulu. Kulula kalula unikezwe kubhalisi, kodwa "baphile isikhathi eside futhi ngenjabulo" naye, futhi, ngeke isebenze. Izibopho zomndeni ezinzima kakhulu, kumuntu onjalo, ziphenduke zibe izikhonkwane.

Njengombana kucacile ekuhlukanisweni, ubudlelwane namadoda we-pathological 'amadoda' bavame ukulahlwa ikusasa. Njengoba "isithembu" singenakwenzeka ukuba ushiye umndeni wakhe, uneliseke kakhulu ngesimo lapho unomfazi kanye nenkosikazi. "Umqoqi" futhi "okwedlulele" uma bakha umndeni omusha, lokhu ngeke kume. Ngendlela, amadoda anjalo ashadile yilabo abaningi abaqala ubuhlobo nowesifazane ohlangothini.

Indlela yokuqeda ubuhlobo nendoda eshadile?

Ngokuvamile, indlela eyamukelekayo kuphela yokuthi owesifazane aphule ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile. Okokuqala, ukuhlanganyela enxantathu yothando, umane ulahlekelwe isikhathi, ngoba ithuba lokudala umndeni lapha lincane. Okwesibili, umhawu, futhi, akekho okhanseliwe. Ngempela, konke ukubukeka kwakhe, wonke amanga kumkakhe efonini, ukuthi unamathele emgwaqeni omkhulu (okudingekayo ukuze ugcizelele), kodwa maduzane uzobuyela ekhaya, akhathaze enye. Noma yikuphi owesifazane ofuna ukuba ohlukile futhi oyingqayizivele, ungafihli uthando lwakhe, futhi ungadlali inhloli kumsebenzi.

Ngakho-ke, uma usenqume ukuphula nomlingani wakho oshadile, zibuze umbuzo othi "Utholaphi kulobu buhlobo?", Akukhona nje okuhle, kepha kubi. Thembeka kuwe. Uma imiphumela emibi yobudlelwane bokuthandana nendoda eshadile, isaphambene nalokho, yenza ukunciphisa, noma uqede ngokuphelele imihlangano yakho. Funa umuntu okuqonda ngempela. Umuntu onjalo uzotholakala ngokuqinisekile.