Wonke umuntu ufuna ukuthanda nokuthandwa, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi lezi zifiso ezimbili azihambisani. Uthando olungalindelekile luba ngumthombo wokuhlangenwe nakho okuqinile nemizwelo emibi . Kodwa-ke, ngisho nalesi simo sinomthelela wokukhula kwangaphakathi nokwenza ngcono.
Kuyini uthando olungenakuqhathaniswa?
Amapondlo nabalobi, abaculi nabaqondisi bakhuluma ngothando njengohlobo lwemfihlakalo, okungenakwenzeka ukuliqonda ngokuphelele. Umqondo onamandla wothando ungangena kumzuzwana ongalindelekile futhi unqobe yonke imicabango nezifiso. Ngesinye isikhathi lo mthandi uqala ukuqaphela ukuthi isikhungo somhlaba wonke sesinye umuntu, ngezwe lakhe langaphakathi nezifiso. Ethonywe yimicabango yowomunye, umthandi uzama ukusondelana nento yakhe, ukumbona, ukuzwa, ukuchitha isikhathi naye, ukwenza impilo yakhe ibe ngcono.
Umthandi uhlale ethanda ukuvusa uthando olusuka enhliziyweni yakhe. Kuphela okokuqala kungase kubonakale ukuthi ukuphindaphinda akubalulekile kakhulu: nje ukuba usondelane nomthandekayo wakho. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uthando olungathandabuzeki luba ngumthwalo womuntu, ludla amandla akhe, lusetha yonke imicabango. Ngakho-ke, ukuqina ngokomzwelo kothando olungenakuqhathaniswa kungase kube namandla futhi kuhlale isikhathi eside kunokuthandana.
Uthando olungenakulinganiswa kwengqondo
Ubaba odumile we-psychoanalysis u-Erich Fromm wabhala ukuthi uthando lwangempela lubangela ukuphindaphindiwe. Wancenga bonke abantu ukuba bafunde ukuthi bathande kanjani ngokufanele futhi babizwe ngokuthi uthando lobuciko. Ukuqonda izizathu zokuthi kungani uthando lungenakulinganiswa futhi lungavumeli impendulo enhliziyweni yomunye, i-Fromm ikhuluma ngobuvila bomuntu, ubugovu nokungazi kule ndaba. Ochwepheshe bezengqondo zanamuhla babheka uthando njengenhlanganisela yokuphendula kwamakhemikhali okubangelwa izici ezihlukahlukene.
Ukuze ube nomuzwa wothando, umuntu ekhanda kufanele ahambisane nezinombolo ezimbalwa ezibaluleke kakhulu kuye. Izimpawu ezinjalo zingaba: ukubukeka, ukuqubuzana kwezwi nokuzwakala, ukufana nomunye wabazali, imikhuba, iphunga, isimo, njll Okusho ukuthi ukuthandana komunye umuntu kufanele kufane phakathi kwabantu ababili. Uthando olungalindelekile lungachazwa njengomzwelo obangelwa ukumelwa komuntu oyedwa kanye nokungabi khona kwezivumelwano ezidingekayo komunye.
Kungani kukhona uthando olungenakuqhathaniswa?
Uthando oluqinile olungenabuzweli lungaba nezizathu ezahlukene:
- Ukuzithoba okuphansi, okuvimbela umuntu ukuthi angazibonakali ohlangothini olungcono kakhulu;
- ubugovu, ngenxa yalokho umthandi egxile emicabangweni yakhe futhi akakwazi ukuqonda izifiso nezidingo zothando lwakhe;
- uhlelo lwesisulu oluholela njalo umuntu esimweni lapho kufanele ahlupheke futhi ahlupheke;
- ukungakwazi ukuxhumana nobulili obuhlukile;
- ukungakwazi ukuthanda omunye umuntu, ukuqonda, ukuzwa;
- ukungakwazi ukuzithoba, ukukhombisa izimfanelo zabo ezinhle kakhulu;
- ukungahambisani nemibono yabalingani empilweni;
- umehluko wozakwethu emvelweni, izithakazelo, izinga lobuhlakani.
Ukuzwa okungafani kukhulunywa ngezwi elibi. Kulesi simo, ungakhohlwa ukuthi uthando olufundwayo alufundisani. Angatshela umuntu ukuthi udinga ukushintsha, ushintshe ezinye imibono yakhe noma imikhuba yakhe. Uthando olude olungapheli lusiza umuntu ukuba abe nesineke, ethandekayo, ukuqonda, ukunakekela.
Uthando olungalindelekile - izimpawu
Ukuzama ukuthola impendulo yombuzo ukuthi ungathola kanjani ukuthi lolo thando alupheli, umuntu kufanele akhumbule ukuthi isimo singashintsha. Uthando olungavumelekile namuhla lungaba ngukusasa ngokubambisana. Ngakho-ke, ungamcasuli futhi uqede ubuhlobo obungasondelana kakhulu esikhathini esizayo. Nakuba izazi zengqondo zibiza izibonakaliso zothando olungenakuqhathaniswa, zihlale ziqaphela ukuthi ubuhlobo bobuhlobo bukhethekile futhi akufanele kuthathwe kuzo zonke izibonakaliso njengento efanelekile kuleso simo. Sikhuluma ngezibonakaliso ezinjalo zothando olungathandwayo:
- umlingani akafisi ukuchitha ndawonye ngangokunokwenzeka;
- abathandekayo noma abathandekayo abafuni ukujwayelana nomlingani nabangane babo;
- othandekayo ugwema ukukhuluma ngobuhlobo, akafuni ukuzimisela esimweni sobuhlobo;
- umlingani akafuni ukuxhumana ngokomzimba;
- othandekayo akabonisi uthando nomusa;
- ebuhlotsheni kukhona ukungahambisani okuthile.
Ingabe uthando olungenakuqhathaniswa lungabuyiselwa?
Uthando olungathandeki lubuhlungu kakhulu futhi luvusa umbuzo wokuthi ungayithola kanjani uthando olungenakulinganiswa. Ukubona othandekayo oseduze futhi ungakwazi ukudala ubuhlobo obugcwele naye kunzima futhi kubuhlungu. Ngisho nalesi simo esingenathemba kukhona i-ray yethemba: umuzwa ohlukile ungabangela impendulo enhliziyweni yomuntu othandekayo. Okuhlangenwe nakho okuwusizo kubonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi yomndeni iye yasungulwa ebuhlotsheni lapho umuntu oyedwa kuphela owayethandana khona. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthando lungathwala izithelo aluxhomeki kuphela ezimweni, kodwa futhi emizamweni, ukuhlakanipha namandla okuthandana nomthandi.
Uthando olungathandeki - yini okufanele uyenze?
Uthando olungalindelekile lendoda noma owesifazane yisikhathi sokubheka ngaphakathi kwakho bese uzama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani uthando lungenayo impendulo. Amathiphu anjalo angasiza ekufezeni ukuphindaphindiwe:
- Kudingekile ukuthi ufunde ukulalela umlingani nokuyiqonda;
- ukuvame ukukhuluma ngalokho okuthandayo umlingani;
- thola izinto ezivamile noma izinto zokuzilibazisa;
- zama ukungena enkampanini othandekayo;
- Ukuthola ukuthi yiziphi izimfanelo zomlingiswa ezijabulisa umuntu othandekayo futhi zihlakulele kuye.
Indlela yokusindiswa uthando olungenakuqhathaniswa - iseluleko sabangqondo bezengqondo
Abantu abaningi abaye babhekana nothando olungathandabuzeki bathi nakuba babhekene nalezi zizwa, babejabule ngothando lwabo. Uma kunzima ukuba kulesi sizwe, ungasebenzisa izeluleko ezinjalo ezivela ezingqondweni zengqondo njengokuthi ungaphila kanjani uthando olungathandwayo:
- zama ukuhlala emphakathini kaningi;
- ungacabangi kaningi mayelana nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nothando olungathandwayo, kungcono ukuphazanyiswa kuzo zonke izinkinga ngale ndaba ngokusebenzisa ukuxhumana nokuzilibazisa okuthakazelisayo;
- ukubheka uthando lwakho njengethuba lokuthola imizwa emihle;
- ukuqonda ukuthi emva kwesikhathi umuntu uqala ukubheka imizwa yakhe yangaphambili ngokuhlukile futhi angase ajabule ukuthi ukuhambisana nomuntu othile akuzange kuphakame;
- khumbula ukuthi isikhathi senza noma yibuphi ubuhlungu.
Imiphumela engathandwayo - uthando
Uthando oluqinile olungenakuqhathaniswa luvame ukushiya inkumbulo yokuphila. Iyini le nkumbulo ezoba, kuxhomeke ukuthi ikusasa lomuntu lizokhula kanjani. Umndeni ojabulayo, othandekayo uzokuvumela ukuba ukhumbule ngothando olungathandabuzeki esikhathini esedlule nge-touch of sadness. Ubuhlobo obungagcwaliseki okwamanje buzokwenza umuntu acabange ngothando oludlulile olungelona luhlobo njengelungelo elilahlekile. Imiphumela yothando olungelona uthando luzoxhomeka kumuntu ngokwakhe, okumele afake iziphetho esimweni bese enza isimo sengqondo esifanele kuso.
Isonto lisho ukuthini ngothando olungathandeki?
Ngokwesiko lobuKristu, lonke uthando luvela kuNkulunkulu. Kusukela kulo mbono, uthando olungenakuqhathaniswa uthando luyithuba lomuntu ukukhombisa izimfanelo zakhe ezinhle ngenxa yomunye umuntu. Uthando lweBhayibheli uthando uthando lwe-agape, ukuthanda, aludingi lutho ngokubuyisela. UNkulunkulu uyayithanda lolu hlobo luthando. Uthando olungathandwayo lufundisa umuntu ukuthobeka, ukubekezela kanye nenkonzo ukuze kuzuze abanye.
Amabhuku aphathelene nothando olungenakuqhathaniswa
Uthando olungelona iqiniso luchazwa ngokucacile emisebenzini eminingi yobuciko. Amabhuku mayelana nothando olungenakuqhathaniswa asiza ukuqonda kangcono wena nesimo esiye savela. Izincwadi ezinhle kunazo zonke kule ndaba zifaka:
- UMargaret Mitchell "Wahamba Nomoya" . I-heroine eyinhloko impi yonke impilo yakhe kanye nothando lwakhe olungenakulinganiswa futhi ekupheleni kokuphila kwakhe liyaqaphela ukuthi empeleni uthanda omunye umuntu isikhathi eside.
- UFrancis Fitzgerald "I-Great Gatsby" . Le ncwadi isekelwe endabeni mayelana nothando olungenakulinganiswa lendoda ecebileyo yonke impilo yakhe ephupha kuphela ngokubona othandekayo wakhe okungenani ngezinye izikhathi.
- UStefan Zweig "Incwadi evela kumuntu ongaziwayo" . Uthando luyaphila - yilesi sigaba salo msebenzi. Indoda engalindelekile ngemva kweminyaka eminingi ifunda indlela ayeyithandayo ngayo yonke le sikhathi.