Enye yezindaba ezixoxwa kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi kungukuthi kukhona ubungani phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane. Bobabili abesifazane abahle nabameleli besigamu esiphezulu sobuntu bathanda ukukhuluma ngakho, nokuthi zingaki izinyembezi ezachithwa ukuzama ukufakazela othandekayo ukuthi umngane wengane ungumngane kuphela futhi akukho lutho. Futhi ngenxa yesizathu esithile, yizinxenye zethu zesibili ezihlala zingathembeki futhi zitshengise ukuthi ubungane bomuntu nowesifazane buvame njalo njengoba ngokuvamile kuvame ukutholakala nesibindi sokukhula. Ngakho-ke ubungani bukhona yini phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, noma ingabe enye inganekwane, i-debunking eyohamba kuphela ukuze kuzuze umphakathi? Siphendula iseluleko kubachwepheshe emiphefumulweni yabantu - izazi zengqondo.
Umbono wezici zengqondo
I-psychology yobungane phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane yinto engathà sina yokucabanga, kuphela ukuthi ososayensi bacabanga ngale nkinga isikhathi eside futhi manje banethuba lokunikeza impendulo engacacile kangako kumbuzo osithandayo: "Ingabe kukhona ubungane phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane?". Ochwepheshe bathi basitshele ukuthi ubungane obunjalo bungenzeka, kodwa izinhlangothi zombili kule nyunyana ziphishekela imigomo yazo. Futhi ngokuvamile kaningi ngokuqaphela noma cha, sibheka umngane wethu njengomlingani wezocansi, okuhlehlisiwe "ekugcinweni." Ngakho umbuzo othi "kungani indoda enobungane nowesifazane?", Ama-Psychologists, cishe kungenzeka, athi uhlala ekuhloleni ubudlelwane bomshado, kunokuba aqhubeke nobungane obungenabugovu. Kodwa-ke, labesifazane bashiye kule nhlonipho kusuka kubamele beqembu eliqinile lomuntu. Singasho okuningi njengoba sithanda ukuthi umngane ungumngane kuphela, kodwa ngokuqinisekile, okungenani kanye phezu kwethemba lokudlulisa ubuhlobo ezingeni elihlukile lakhulelwa. Kodwa isinqumo esithathwe ngenxa yalezi zizindla senze uhlobo lobuhlobo bethu kulesi sigaba. Kodwa konke lokhu akusho neze ukuthi ubungane obungathandekayo phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane ngeke kwenzeke, lokhu kuqinisekiswa yizingxoxo zomphakathi ezenziwa. Futhi empeleni, ngubani ongakwazi ukuphendula kahle lo mbuzo onzima, kanjani hhayi abantu ngokwabo abaye bahlala ezimweni ezifanayo?
Kodwa kanjani ngempela?
Ucwaningo lwezenhlalo lwaluqhutshwa ngendaba yobuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane. Imiphumela ifanele ukunakekelwa, cishe abangaba ngu-70% abaphendulile bakholelwa ukuthi ubuhlobo obunjalo bukhona futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, bona ngokwabo bayisibonelo esihle sezobuhlobo. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi abantu abaneminyaka yobudala bavinjelwa kancane kumngane onjalo, futhi abesifazane, ngokuphambene nalokho, bakholelwa kuphela kulo. Kodwa abamele bobulili bobabili bawubonga kakhulu ubuhlobo obunjalo, ngoba uthando luzophenduka impilo yansuku zonke, isifiso sibe umkhuba, futhi ubungane buyasivuselela. Yiqiniso, umlando weqembu ngalinye ngumuntu ngamunye, omunye umuntu wakwazi ukugcina ubungane ngemuva kokuphela kwendabuko, omunye umuntu owenze impilo, kanti omunye ngemuva kokuvela komndeni akakwazanga ukuqhubeka nokuxhumana okunjalo, kodwa usazikhumbula lezo zikhathi njengabanye kusukela ezikhathini ezinhle kakhulu zokuphila kwakhe. Futhi abanye, sebeqale ngobuhlobo, manje bakha umbhangqwana oshadile ojabulisayo, ohlala, noma kunjalo, abangane abakhulu kakhulu.
Ngandlela-thile, umbuzo othi "kungani indoda enobungane nomuntu wesifazane?" Ucele abaxoxwa nabo ukuba bangabonakali kancane, kodwa ngemva kokuzindla, izizathu ezitholakalayo. Ngokuvamile abaphenduli baphendule lo mbuzo, behlukanisa zibe izingxenye ezimbili - ukuqala kobudlelwane nomzuzu wamanje. Futhi abaningi baphendula ukuthi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane obuhle, babefuna ukubona umlingani wabo njengomthandi. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi