Mayelana nobuhlobo besifazane isikhathi eside kunezinganekwane, amahlaya, ngisho nezihloko zesayensi ezilotshiwe. Ukuphila kwayo kwabonakala kaningi futhi kwachazwa. Kukhona ubungane besifazane - kunzima kakhulu ukukusho ngokungaqondile, kodwa sizozama ukusondela eqinisweni, silinganisise yonke inzuzo nokuqeda.
Iqiniso lokuthi zonke izintombi ezisuka ebuntwaneni zifuna ukuthola intombi, zingachazwa kalula. Lokhu kwenzeka ngokomlando, ngenxa yezizathu ezingaphezu kokulawula kwethu. Kusukela esizukulwaneni kuya esizukulwaneni, ulwazi ludluliselwa kusuka kumama kuya endodeni ukuthi abesifazane bafana kakhulu futhi kulula ukuba bathole ulimi oluvamile. Uyakhumbula ukuthi ubani owadlala naye ebuntwaneni bakho ngamadonki, kumadodakazi kamama wakho? obani ababehlezi emabhokisini angomakhelwane enkulisa? obani abahlanganyela nakho okuqala kokuthandana? Yebo, yebo, nabangani! Ngubani, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungumngani, uzokulalela ukukhala kwakho efonini, unikeze iseluleko futhi uzisole. Yini engingayisho, owesifazane uqonda owesifazane onesigamu-izwi, okungenakusho ngamadoda. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba baqonde ukuthi yini ebizwa ngokuhleka ngokuthi "logical female". Isizathu ukuthi abesifazane nabesilisa bahlukanisiwe kusukela ebusheni. Njengoba bethi, "abafana - ngakwesokudla, amantombazane - ngakwesobunxele". Futhi kunjalo.
Yiqiniso, ukuba khona kobuhlobo besifazane akuyona iqiniso eliphelele. Labo abaphikelela ukuthi akukho ubungane besifazane, nabo banabo ubufakazi babo. Futhi lobu bufakazi buyakhohlisa nakakhulu. Bathi ubuhlobo besifazane bukhona kuze kube yilapho indoda ivela endleleni. Yebo, abangane-intombazane bayakhula, beka amadonsa eceleni futhi ... bewa othandweni. Lokhu kungokwemvelo (ngisho nokugwema) futhi ubungane abubonakali bulimaza. Kodwa uma into yokukhonta amantombazane amabili iba yindoda efanayo, kufanele ukhethe. Khona-ke ubungane bamantombazane bubuzwa. Wonke umuntu ufuna ukuba yilokho konke kuqala futhi njalo njalo, futhi ukuyeka ubuqhawe kusho ukulahlekelwa, yingakho singathandi amantombazane kakhulu.
Ukuthi ubungane besifazane abukho bufakazelwa ukuphikisana, okukhulunywa kakhulu phakathi kobulili obuthakathaka. Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabesifazane bungakhiwa hhayi kuphela ekuhawukelweni, kodwa nangenxa yokuzuza, okuyinto evame ukuvela ngaphambili ebuhlotsheni. Awukwazi ngisho ukuqagela ukuthi umngane wakho omkhulu akusebenzisa. Isibonelo, ngenkathi umsiza ekukhuleni komsebenzi, usebenza njengesambatho esithembekile sokukhala izinyembezi nezikhalazo, ubungane abuyisongelwa. Kodwa ngokushesha nje lapho umgomo wokudabuka kwakho - intombi isifinyelela, uyamkhathaza. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi owesifazane ufana nekati - uthanda ukuhamba yedwa.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubuhlobo besifazane akuyona inganekwane buqinisekisa ukuphikisana nobuhlobo besilisa. Abesifazane nabesilisa kuphela bakhuluma izilimi ezahlukene. Okokuqala - ngokomzwelo, futhi okwesibili - okunengqondo, okunengqondo. Lokhu kuvame ukubavimbela ekutholeni ulimi oluvamile. Futhi, njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, owesifazane uzoqonda owesifazane ngaphandle kwamazwi.
Indlela yokugcina ubungane nomngani?
Kunezibonelo zalokhu ubungane besifazane, lapho abangane bengadingi lutho komunye nomunye, ngaphandle kokuxhumana okufudumele, ukuqonda nokuzwela. Kodwa uma kwenzeka kuwe kwenzeka okuphambene nalokho, ungaphelelwa yithemba futhi uphika ngokucacile ukuba khona kobuhlobo ngokujwayelekile. Okokuqala, udinga ukuhlaziya isimo samanje futhi ucabange ngokucophelela ngokuthi ungagcina kanjani ubungane nentombi yakho, ngoba isikhathi sonke asilahlekile. Mhlawumbe uphutha ekungathembeki kwakhe.
Ake sibone ukuthi yini evame ukubangela izingxabano zabahlobo, futhi yiziphi izindlela zokubuyisana?
- Uma uqala ukubona ukuthi umngane uphuthelwe okuthile futhi uyakugwema, ke okokuqala kudingeka ucabange ngokuziphatha kwakho. Ngezinye izikhathi ngisho negama elilodwa elingakhethi eliphumelelayo lingamcasula umuntu. Uma ukhumbule ukuthi yini engabangela ukuxabana, masinyane ukhulume nentombi yakho, umcele ukuba athethelelwe. Uzokuqonda futhi akuthethelele, kodwa mhlawumbe uzodinga isikhathi salokhu.
- Isizathu sokuphikisana kungaba indoda. Uke "wabamba" intombi enkambeni yensizwa yakho? Ungesabi, ngokushesha uphule ubuhlobo nabo. Kungenzeka ukuthi bahlangane ukuze baxoxe ngosuku lwakho lokuzalwa oluzayo, ukubonisana ne-akhawunti yesipho noma ukuhlela isimangalo. Futhi kakade napridumvali uNkulunkulu uyazi ukuthi yini. Ukuze siqonde lesi simo, kudingeka sikhulume inhliziyo ngenhliziyo, sikhulume ngokusobala izinsolo zethu, bese kuthi konke okuyokwenzeka.
- Uma wena (noma intombi yakho) ungagcini izwi futhi wembulani ngomuntu othile imfihlakalo yomngane, ukwazi ukuthi ungubani kuphela,
Ungayifihli noma uvele uphule ubuhlobo. Kufanele uvume ukuthi wenze okuthile okungalungile, futhi ucele intethelelo. Ngethembisa ngobuqotho umngane wakho ukuthi lokhu ngeke kuphinde kwenzeke, mtshele ukuthi ubuzisa ubuhlobo bakho kakhulu. Amazwi anjalo ahlale emuhle ukuzwa. Uma ubungane bakho buqinile futhi buyiqiniso, khona-ke konke kuzokwenziwa ukuxazululwa.
Ngokuvamile imbangela yokuphikisana phakathi kwabahlobo yinto encane, engafanele ukunakekelwa nhlobo. Into esemqoka ukuvimbela ukungezwani okuvela ekukhuleni. Ungesabi ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisana, futhi ngokuzumayo uzodlula ngobuhlobo bangempela, hhayi ukuwaqaphela ngenxa yokungahambisani nemibono yabantu.