Akusiyo imfihlo ukuthi kunoma yikuphi ukuqoqa, kungaba isigaba esikoleni, noma iqembu labafundi, kuyohlale kube labo bantu abajabulela uthando jikelele nokuthandwa, kanye nalabo abangewona "le-caste yezintandokazi." Kodwa, yiliphi uhlobo lommeleli wesigamu esihle somuntu ongafuni ukwazi ukuthi abe kanjani intombazane epholile, ube mnandi kulabafana futhi ube nabangane abaningi. Ukuze iphupho ligcwaliseke, kufanele wazi imithetho embalwa nje bese usebenza kancane.
Indlela yokuba intombazane epholile?
Ngakho-ke, into yokuqala okufanele uyenze uzibuke uvela ngaphandle. Vele udinga ukugqamisa amandla abo nobuthakathaka. Into esemqoka ayikwenzi iphutha elivamile, ungadluli, ungapheli-udumise wena, kodwa ungaqhubeki ngokuqinile embonweni wokuthi akukho okukhangayo kuwe.
Ungenza uhlu nge-pluses yakho namaminithi, bese uhlaziya yonke into bese uzama ukuzibuka ngokuqondile ngokweqile.
Uma kuhlaziywa kubalulekile ukukhomba izingxenye eziningana, umuntu kufanele ahlule ngokwahlukana izinzuzo nokungahleleki kokubukeka, imfundo, ikhono lokuziphatha kanye nezici zobuntu bakhe . Lesi yisinyathelo sokuqala esingenza ube intombazane epholile, futhi uthole abangane abasha nabalandeli, ngenxa yokuzethemba nokuzihlonipha.
Ngemuva kwezinhlu zokufaneleka nokuphutha kuzokwenziwa, kudingeka sidalule ukuthi yini okudingeka ishintshwe kuqala. Isibonelo, uma intombazana ihlazeka ukukhuluma nabantu ngenxa yokuthi "ungaphelele", umuntu kufanele afunde kanye nokufunda indlela yokukhetha izingubo "ezifanele", nokudlala imidlalo, nokufunda izincwadi ngobuciko bokuxhumana nokulwa nokuhlazeka enkampanini. Ukuphikelela kanye nomsebenzi, yilokho okuzokusiza ube intombazane epholile esikoleni, futhi uthole ukuzethemba ngamakhono akho. Ngeke kube lula ngale ndlela, kuyadingeka ukuthi uvumelane nokuthi kuzothatha umsebenzi omude nobunzima.
Ungaba kanjani intombazane epholile kakhulu?
Uma le ntombazane isivele ihlanganyele kuyo, kubalulekile ukuqhubeka nesinyathelo esilandelayo, kumele siqale ukuxhumana nabantu. Hlola nxazonke futhi uzobona ukuthi labo bantu abakwazi ukuxhumana nabo abathandekayo bavame ukujabulela ukuthandwa, bangazwelana nabantu, bahlanganyele izithakazelo zabo. Uma umuntu engazi ukuthi angakwenza kanjani lokhu, khona-ke ukuthi mnhle kangakanani, ukuba abe mnandi kunazo zonke, noma ngabe yini ongayisho, ngeke isebenze.
Ukuze ube interlocutor ezimnandi, kufanele ukhumbule futhi ufunde indlela yokusebenzisa imithetho eminingana.
- Ukwazi ukulalela abantu. Futhi akukhona nje ukuphazamisa i- interlocutor , kubalulekile ukubuza imibuzo kumuntu, ngenjabulo, hhayi ethintekayo, ukulalela izindaba zakhe nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe.
- Thola ukuthi yiziphi izihloko ezithakazelisayo kubangani bakho bese uzama ukuzifunda. Akukho okubi kakhulu kunalokho lapho i-interlocutor engathandi ukulalela nokukhuluma ngezinto ezithile abantu abakhathalelayo ngempela. Ngakho-ke, ukuze kukhulunywe bukhoma kuzodingeka ukuthi ufunde
izihloko ezithandayo abangane bakho. - Funda ukunqoba inkinga yakho futhi utshele okuthile ngawe kanye nezithakazelo zakho. Khumbula ukulawulwa kwe "golide" - 30% yengxoxo kufanele ikhulunywe ngawe, 70% yesikhathi sokulalela umxhumanisi.
Qinisekisa ukuthi ufunda izincwadi ezihlokweni zengqondo esebenzayo, isibonelo, ungaqala ngokufanayo noDale Carnegie. Kukhona ngokuningiliziwe okuchazwe, yiziphi ukwamukelwa ezisetshenziselwa ukugcinwa kwesithakazelo se-interlocutor, indlela yokufunda ukubuza imibuzo kanye nabantu. Into esemqoka, khumbula ukuthi ayikho incwadi engakusiza uze uzinqobe futhi uqale ukusebenzisa ulwazi oluzuziwe ngomkhuba.