Abaningi balindele uthando, bephupha, behlupheka, kepha lokho kuwukuphela kwamaphupho ahlala emaphupho, futhi ubuhlobo abuhambanga kahle futhi buphela ngolunye ukudumazeka. Futhi isizathu silula ngempela - bambalwa kakhulu abantu abaqonda ukuthi uthando ngumphumela womsebenzi onzima owenziwe abathandi ababili. Uthando alulindelekile, ludalwa usuku nosuku, wonke amazwi nezenzo. Uma kungenjalo, uma uthando luwela futhi uthando luyayeka, akukho lutho oluhlala, okungaba lufanele ukugcina ubuhlobo. Kodwa umbuzo uwukuthi, uhlobo luni lomsebenzi, yini okufanele kwenziwe ukuze wenze konke njengephupho? Indlela yokugcina uthando ebuhlotsheni? Kuzohlala isikhathi esingakanani ukugcina ubudlelwane bomndeni emshadweni, indlela yokugcina ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe ukuze baqhubeke ndawonye kuze kube sekupheleni, ngesandla, hhayi ukuvumela omunye nomunye akhubeke, evikele omunye ekuhluphekeni kwansuku zonke? Kuvela ukuthi konke akunzima njengoba kubonakala, kodwa akulula njengokungathi umuntu angathanda. Ukufunda ubudlelwane phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane, izazi zengqondo zithole izimpendulo zemibuzo eminingi, kodwa zizama amathiphu alandelayo ngesimo sabo, ungakhohlwa ukuthi umuntu ngamunye uqobo, futhi akukho nhlobo eyodwa yezindlela zokugcina izinzwa. Ngakho-ke umthetho wokuqala kanye obaluleke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni - kufanele ulalele njalo inhliziyo yakho. Ungasheshi uphinde uvivinye ngokuzisebenzisa wonke amathiphu, ukuthi ungalondoloza kanjani ubuhlobo obude nomyeni wakhe. Kodwa, ngokulalela izwi elingaphakathi, kubalulekile ukufeza izincomo ezifanele kakhulu esimweni ngasinye. Akudingeki ukuthi, iseluleko esinikezwe izazi ze-psychologists ngezansi nje kuyindlela yokugcina uthando ngobudlelwane nomyeni noma othandekayo, kodwa ukuze usebenzise lezi zeluleko esimweni esithile, udinga ukubhekana nalolu daba ngobuhlakani, ucabangele izimfanelo zomuntu othandekayo.
Ungalondoloza kanjani ubuhlobo nabathandekayo bakho?
1. Gcina isithakazelo ebuntwini bakho
Amadoda angabantu abazingela ngokwemvelo, futhi sebezizwa ukuthi inyamazane ibanjwe, ingase ilahlekelwe yithakazelo kuyo. Yiqiniso, ubuhlobo kufanele bube buqotho futhi buqonde, futhi indoda kufanele izwe ukuthi iyathandwa. Kodwa ngezikhathi ezithile kuyoba usizo ukuthi kufanele aphinde azuze indawo yabathandekayo, khona-ke isisulu sakhe somzingeli siyokwaneliseka, kodwa hhayi ngezindleko zezihambi ezingaqondakali, kodwa ngenxa yowesifazane othandekayo kuphela. Kodwa ukuhleka nokucindezela imizwa yesikhwele akufanelekile, kungaba nomphumela ohluke ngokuphelele.
2. Ungavumeli i-monotony
Iqiniso lokuthi amadoda isithembu ayaziwa isikhathi eside. Futhi, naphezu kwalokhu, abesifazane bonke baphupha ngokuthembeka kwe-swan, futhi bayamangala ngempela lapho bezwa ukuthi othandekayo ukhangwa kwabanye abantu. Ngakho-ke, abesifazane bakhuthazwa ukuthi baguqule njalo esithombeni sangaphandle, benze lo muntu iphutha le-harem. Yiqiniso, ngenkathi uhlala ucabangela izintandokazi zomlingani.
3. Funda indlela yokuxhumana nomthandekayo wakho.
Kubonakala sengathi lokhu kuyisisekelo, ngoba wonke umuntu ukhuluma. Kodwa kuphela umphumela wokukhulumisana akuyona into efana njalo nathi. Ukutadisha ngokucophelela izithakazelo nezintandokazi zomlingani wakho, bukela ukuthi uyabona kanjani lokhu noma lolo lwazi. Ngakho-ke, kungenzeka ukuqonda ukuthi iyiphi indlela yokuxhumana ekulungele kakhulu ukuxazulula izinkinga ezingqubuzanayo, ukuthi kungcono kanjani ukwethula ulwazi olungabangela ukusabela okungalungile, nokuthi kungcono kanjani ukuxhumana nombono wakho ngaphandle kokubangela ukulwa. Futhi-ke, kubalulekile hhayi kuphela ukulalela, kodwa futhi ukuzwa othandekayo, ngaphandle kwalokho isithakazelo sakhe singashesha ngokushesha.
4. Yibani umngane, umfazi nenkosikazi
Uma umuntu ebona umngane onokwethenjelwa owesifazane, kuyilapho owesifazane onothando nothando futhi othembekile, obuye egcwele uthando, cishe cishe ngeke afune nje ukugcina ubuhlobo, kodwa futhi ukuqinisa, isibonelo ngomshado wezomthetho.
Kodwa uma lo muntu othandekayo eba yindoda, lokhu akusilo isiqiniseko sokuthi uthando luyoba ngunaphakade. Futhi lapho zonke izinkinga ezihlotshaniswa nokuvela komndeni omusha zizophela, sekuyisikhathi sokucabanga ngendlela yokulondoloza uthando ekuhlotsheni komndeni. Ngoba umshado uyingcosana kuphela ekuthuthukiseni ubudlelwane, futhi kusekhona izithiyo eziningi eziseduze, ezisongela injabulo yabathandi.
Indlela yokugcina ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe?
Kunezindlela eziningi zokulondoloza ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe, kodwa ukuze kubhubhise lobu buhlobo kunelungelo lokugcina ukufanelana ekuphileni kwansuku zonke kanye nobuhlobo obuseduze. Akusikho njalo kuholela ekuhlukaniseni, ngokuvamile abantu bahlala ndawonye endaweni eyodwa, baphendulela izimpilo zomunye esihogweni. Kodwa umthwalo wonke wobudlelwane uhlala kuphela emahlombe abashadile futhi bona ngokwabo bakhetha isimo sokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane babo. Izincomo ezilandelayo ngeke zibe yinto engafanele kulabo abafuna ukwenza ukuvumelana emkhayeni womndeni:
- Nsuku zonke zokuhlala ndawonye ubuciko, yonke igama nesenzo kungadala noma kubhubhise, njalo ucabange ngemiphumela yamagama nezenzo zakho;
- Lapho inkinga isondela noma ukungqubuzana kuyadabuka, beka umgomo wokubhekana nale nkinga ndawonye. Ngenxa yalokhu, akuyona into engafanele ukujwayelana nezindlela zokuxhumana ezingenabambano;
- qaphela impilo yakho engokwenyama. Izifo zithinta isimo somzwelo, namandla omuntu. Umphumela uzoba ukungabi nentshisekelo empilweni, bese kuthi isimiso futhi ukuphila ngeke kuthathe isikhathi eside ukulinda;
- ungavumeli ukulahlwa. Uma kukhona okungazelelwe kube yinto ecasulayo, bheka izizathu, zwakalise imizwa yakho kanye ndawonye ubheke indlela yokulungisa isimo;
- Ukuqonda okufanayo nokuhloniphana akufanele kube yizwi elingenalutho. Kumele kube umgomo ovamile, okumele uhambe kuwo, ubambe izandla ngokuqinile.
Ukunakekela indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane obuhle emndenini nsuku zonke, bese ukuvumelana ebuhlotsheni nabathandekayo kuyoletha injabulo nenjabulo usuku nosuku.