Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi u-interlocutor wakho uziphatha nawe ngendlela efanayo ngaphandle kokukhona kwakho, kanti nakuba ungaphendule ukuthi ungumuntu onobungane obubhekene nambili, kwenzeke ukuthi empilweni kuhlangene nabasebenzi abanolwazi. Ngokumemeza kokukhululeka nokuzwa ukwaneliseka, uzomnika konke onakho, futhi emva nje kokuhlukanisana naye, uzobona ukuthi usuke waba yisisulu sobuchwepheshe.
Kunezintambo eziningi zokunquma umlingiswa womuntu. Ungabakhohlisi ngokwabo.
Siyaqinisekisa ukuziphatha "kwangaphambili" futhi "emva"
Uma unomhlangano obalulekile, qinisekisa ubuqotho be-interlocutor yakho. Woza imizuzu engu-15 ngaphambi kwakhe, thola indawo yokuhlala ongayikuqaphela futhi ubukele. Iphuzu lokuqala indlela yokunquma uhlobo lomlingiswa womuntu - lokhu kungukubona kwe-gait:
- mahhala kanye nokubusa - umgomo womuntu ukuza ngesikhathi somhlangano, akaphazanyiswa yizinto ezizungezile, uyakwazi ukuthatha imithwalo yemisebenzi nezithembiso zakhe;
- umfaniswano, kodwa umuntu ujika nxazonke - laba bantu bahlale benakekela isithunzi sabo, esibonisa ukungabikho kwengqondo yabo;
- ephuza, engakhathazeki, ikhanda liyancipha - umuntu, cishe, ubonakalise okuthile, noma uzizwa kabi;
- impumelelo ebucayi, ukuqhuma okuqhubekayo komsindo omncane - umuntu onjalo ufuna ukusekelwa emibonweni yabanye, ugxilile futhi unzima kakhulu.
Uma isihloko sakho sisekhona, sebenzisa isinyathelo sesibili, ukuthi ungabonisa kanjani umlingiswa womuntu - ukuxhawula ngesandla:
- ovilaphayo - noma ngabe umuntu ukhathele, noma uma ukhona emhlanganweni, futhi ugoqa izandla endaweni yokugcina, ukunakekelwa kwakho kunganakwa futhi akubheki njengokubalulekile;
- uphula iminwe bese ugoba esandleni
- lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokulwa, umuntu ubonisa ukungabi nethemba kuwe; - isandla sesibili sikufaka ehlombe lakho - noma umphathi noma umuntu ngaphambi kokukuhlola, njengokwenza kwakho (kunoma yikuphi, ukuxhumana kuyothakazelisa);
- uyaphakamisa isandla sakho ngezandla zombili - linda isicelo noma umlayezo obalulekile.
Nazi amaphuzu amabili kuphela ongabonelela phambili ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane. Okulandelayo, kufanele uqhathanise nokuziphatha komuntu engxoxweni ngalokho okuzibonele khona ngesikhathi sokubona kuqala.