Ungathola kanjani umthandi, uma ushadile?

I-psyche yezinsikazi ihlelwe kahle kangangokuthi, ukuze uthole umuzwa wokugcwala kokuphila nenjabulo, idinga izimpawu zokunakekelwa, ukuncoma, amazwi abumnene nokubonga emehlweni endoda. Futhi manje ake sibheke amaqiniso okuphila kwansuku zonke. Ngemva kokuhlala inombolo ethile emshadweni, cishe wonke owesifazane uba inkosikazi, umama, ukunakekela nokusekela umyeni wakhe nezingane zakhe. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngokukhohlwa ngokuphelele ukuthi usemncane, namanje enhle, ezithakazelisayo futhi ezifanele ukuhlonishwa. Yebo, ubuhlobo bobulili nomyeni wakhe abuletheli injabulo, kodwa kuba umkhuba, futhi ngezinye izikhathi umsebenzi. Yini okufanele uyenze kulesi simo?

Ezimweni ezinjalo, kunezindlela ezimbili zokuphuma - ukuzama ukulungisa ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe noma ukuthola omunye umuntu. Ngaphambi kokwenza isinqumo esinjalo, owesifazane ngamunye uthola isikhathi esinzima sanembeza nokungabaza mayelana nokuthi ungamthanda kanjani, uma ushada, ngenkathi uhlala nomndeni futhi ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe.

Ungathola kanjani umthandi?

Ngakho-ke, sebezixazulula umbuzo unembeza nokuziphatha, owesifazane uthatha isinqumo sokuthola omunye umuntu. Kodwa lapho bese ubhekene nenkinga entsha, ukuthi ungathola kanjani umthandi nokuthi uzoqala kuphi.

Ukuze uthole umthandi, njengokwengqondo yesimanje, ayinzima kakhulu, kodwa kunezigcawu ezimbalwa. Ngaso leso sikhathi kuyadingeka ukukhipha ukuhluka kweveliveli emsebenzini noma enkonzweni, ungayibheki phakathi kwabajwayele abajwayelekile futhi ngokuqinisekile ungacabangi ngabangane bomyeni wakho. Amanoveli anjalo ayingozi kakhulu ekudaluleni, ngakho-ke ukuhlazeka nokuhlukana komndeni. Ukuthandana kwi-intanethi kumasayithi afanelekile kubhekene nomhlangano nabangcolisayo futhi hhayi abantu abanele ngokwanele.

Indawo enhle yereveli yiklabhu yokudansa noma umbuthano. Kulezo zindawo umkhathi ngokwawo unesimo sengqondo sokuthandana nobuhlobo obuseduze. Ungakwazi ukuhlangana nomuntu ofanelekayo emakamelweni okufaneleka, ezemidlalo nezokuzivocavoca. Isixwayiso esiyinhloko ukuthi akufanele uhlanganyele kakhulu, uthande othandweni, ngakho-ke uhlele ikusasa, njengoba ukudlala ngothando nokuthandana akuqinisekisi ubudlelwano obuzinzile esikhathini esizayo.