Akekho owesifazane ongakwazi ukudumazeka nokuphila okungajabulisi ngendlela yokuphikisana nomuntu othandekayo, ukungaqondi kahle okuningi, futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlukanisa naye.
Indlela yokusinda isahlukaniso sowesifazane?
Abameleli abaningi besithemba socansi olubuthakathaka kuze kube sekugcineni ukuthi ngeke kube nokuhlukaniswa empilweni yomndeni, konke kuzosebenza ngokwakho. Kulula ukuchaza ukuthi kungani isahlukaniso, noma yikuphi ukuhlukanisa, ukucindezeleka , ukushaya emuva, ukuzwa ukuphelelwa yithemba ngabo. Abanye besifazane, ngenxa yokulahlwa yithemba, bangakwazi ukuthola amandla okusinda kule nkathi yokuphila kwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, inqwaba yemicabango yokuzibulala, umnyango uthatha izidakamizwa zokucindezeleka. Kodwa ungayeki. Kunezindlela ezimbalwa ezilula zokusiza ukuphumula ebusweni obujulile bokuhluleka kokuphila.
Indlela yokuphila ngaphandle kobuhlungu isehlukaniso:
Ungabukeli imihlangano nomuntu osekude naye. Kungokwemvelo, ch ukuthi ufuna ukumtshela zonke izinyembezi ezivela ngaphakathi kuze kube yingxenye. Kodwa, uma ukhuluma ngokuyisisekelo, ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi ngisho nangaphambi kokuhlukanisa ukwazi ukumtshela okuningi. Ungaguquli owesifazane ohlambalaza. Ziqhenye, ubambe imizwelo yakho. Khumbula ukuthi ekuqaleni, ngemuva kokuhlukanisana nomuntu wangaphambili ngeke ukwazi ukukhuluma naye ngaphandle kwemizwelo, futhi lokhu kungabangela enye inhlamba.
Qaphela isimo sekhaya lakho. Ungabe uhlala lapho, ugijime ekucabangeni, kodwa uhambe, wenze. Ungaqala ukulungiswa, wenze ukuthuthukiswa okunye. Ungazivumeli uwele ngaphansi kwe-melancholy.
Indlela yokusinda kahle isehlukaniso: inomboro yomkhandlu kabili
Ungazami ukuya emikhosini yaphakade kuze kuhlwe. Ungasheshi ukuba isivakashi esivamile kumaqembu amnandi namaqembu. Kungenzeka ukuthi ungase ucabange ukuthi indlela yokubalekela inkululeko yomuntu siqu isinqumo esifanele. Yebo, ekuqaleni uzophazanyiswa kulezo zinkinga eziphazamisa umphefumulo wakho, kodwa kungekudala ukukhohliswa kuzothathelwa indawo yomsindo ozoqina kunalowo owawuqala.
Ungatsheli bonke abangani bakho ngazo zonke izici ezimbi zomuntu owake wathandwa ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho. Ngokuhlaziya impilo yakho ebuseduze nemininingwane encane kunazo zonke, uzokwandisa isimo sakho esicindezelayo kuphela.
Indlela yokusinda ekucindezelekeni ngemuva kokuhlukanisa: isihloko sesithathu
Ukucindezeleka kule nkathi kuboniswa umuzwa wokucindezeleka, ukunganakwa nokukhathazeka, okungekho isizathu. Umngane ovame ukubhekana nesimo sokucindezeleka ukungafuni ukudla ngokugcwele, ukutholakala kokuntula ubuthongo kwimodi yakho yokuphila. Ukuze uqede lezi zinkinga, yakha zonke izimo ezisiza ukuphumula (isibonelo, kungaba ukugeza okumnandi). Khumbula ukuthi ukulala okujulile kuzosiza ukunqoba izimpawu zokucindezeleka.
Uma ungafuni ukudla noma yini, qaphela ukuthi ukudla okusemthethweni wakho kufana ne-placebo yemilingo. Ungakhohlwa isimo sakho sengqondo. Thola into eyokuphazamisa (ukuhlela, ukuhlobisa, izifundo zolimi lwangaphandle). Into ebaluleke kakhulu kulokhu ukuthi ngeke ube yedwa nezwe lakho. Uma unomntwana ezandleni zakho, faka sonke isikhathi kuye. Ufunda incwadi ka-Andrei Kurpatov, uLouise Hay, ozokwazi ukukusiza ukunqoba ukucindezeleka okungaphezu kwalokho. Indlela yokusinda ukucindezeleka ngemva kwesahlukaniso: ithiphu lesine
Zizwe inkululeko yakho. Ukuze wenze lokhu, mane nje wenze lokho okushiwo umlingani wakho ngaphambilini akuvimbele ukuba wenze. Qaphela ukubukeka. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukuthi ubukeka kanjani ubonisa isimo sakho sangaphakathi. Ngoba uzithande futhi ungavumeli ukuhamba nezinwele ezingavuthiwe.
Esikhathini esithile ngemva kokuhlukanisa, zigcine esilingweni sokuqala uthando. Ucabanga ukuthi lesi sinqumo esilungile kuphela, kanti ngenkathi usazi ukuthi uhlala wodwa, uphuthunyiswa ekugodini kokucindezeleka. Indaba nje yothando yilahlekelwa ukuhluleka. Uzoqhathanisa umlingani wakho wamanje nomuntu wangaphambili, ngaphandle kokungaqapheli. Lokhu, kuzokwenza ukuthi kuthinte ukuhlukana kwakho, okungeyona i-chylo ekwazi ukukudala ukuhlukumezeka okusha kwengqondo.
Futhi ekugcineni uzikhumbuze njalo uma kubonakala sengathi akukho amandla okuphuma kule nkathi, inkulumo kaCoco Chanel: "Konke kusezandleni zethu, ngakho akufanele kushiywe".