Okunamathiselwe - lo mcimbi unemibala emihle emphakathini, okubonisa ukuthi lowo muntu unemizwa enhle nenomusa, imizwelo esiza ukwenza abangane, ukugcina ubuhlobo bomndeni, nokubandakanyeka kwabanye abantu.
Kuyini okushiwo okunamathiselwe?
Okunamathiselwe kumuntu umqondo onomqondo ohlanganisa i-spectrum yamazwe ahlukene: umqondo wokubambisana, uthando, inzalo, ukuzinikela okujulile nokuthembeka. Ngokuvamile, ukunamathisela kuyabuhlungu futhi kuyonakalisa, okwenza kube nzima ukudalula ikhono lomuntu futhi kuvimbele ukwakhiwa kobudlelwane obuhle nabanye abantu abalulekile.
Indlela yokuhlukanisa uthando oluvela othandweni?
Indlela yokuqonda uthando noma uthando - okuvame ukuthi lo mbuzo ubuzwa abesifazane, abakwazi ukuhlukanisa lezi zizathu ngenxa yemimoya yabo yemvelo. Ukuzwa uthando nokuthanda umehluko:
- uthando - ukukhanga, uthando - ukuthandana kwemiphefumulo;
- Ngesisekelo sokunamathela, imizwa ingapheli, khona-ke iyaqhubekela phezulu, bese ixhaswa, uthando luhlala njalo, lujulile;
- Ukunamathiselwe kubangela umqondo oqinile wokucindezeleka, othandweni ukulangazelela umyalelo ohlukile futhi ngesisekelo amandla aqhubekela phambili;
- Ukunamathiselwe kukhonjiswe ku-egocentrism, uthando ukukwamukelwa komunye umuntu kanye nomuzwa wenjabulo nje ngoba akanakho okulindelwe ku-akhawunti yakhe.
Ungasusa kanjani uthando?
Indlela yokukhipha okunamathiselwe kumuntu, ngoba ukuthembela akunikezi impilo evamile, ukuphefumula, uzibone njengomuntu? Izazi zezinqondo zeluleka ezindabeni ezinjalo ukuthi zisebenzise ochwepheshe, kunzima ukuqeda inkinga enjalo, uma kungenjalo, ungaphelelwa ithemba futhi kudingekile ukuzama ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuthola inkululeko kule ndlela:
- qaphela ukuthi konke okukhona kuleli zwe kungokwesikhashana, futhi ubuhlobo nabo;
- hlola into noma into enamathiselwe ngokusizwa imibuzo: "Kuzokwenzekani uma lo muntu eshiya impilo yami?", "Kungani ngesaba ukulahlekelwa yilo?";
- Ukunamathiselwa komzimba kuwumkhuba wokuthola isimo senjabulo ngokuzihlanganisa nomuntu othize, kubalulekile ukuthi ufunde ukuthi ungajabula kanjani ngaphandle kwabanye;
- qala ukufunda ngawe into entsha, uzithanda wena, ubeke imigomo - lokhu kufanele uhambe ekujuleni kwakho, ungagcini ngaphandle.
Izinhlobo zokunamathiselwe
Izinamathiselo zingahlukaniswa ngokomzimba zibe yizinhlobo eziningana, ngamunye wazo usetshenziswe ebuntwaneni, kodwa futhi kuxhomeke ekutheni ubumnene bomntwana. Izinamathiselo:
- Ukuphephile (okunempilo) - kwakha emndenini lapho izidingo zomntwana ekunakekeleni, ukunakekelwa kanye nokuthandwa kunelisekile ngokuphelele. Izingane emkhayeni onjalo zikhula ziqiniseka, zizolile zivumelane nezimo ezungezile.
- Ukugwema - kwenzeka uma ingane inganakwa, ikhula ingathandeki, kuye ngemibono yabanye, abangakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obuvamile.
- Ukungahlehlisi kahle - kukhishwa emndenini lapho abazali bebhekene nodlame - ingane ikhula ingacindezeli, igqugquzele abanye.
Okunamathiselwe ngokomzwelo
Noma yikuphi okunamathiselwe kunamathele emizweni ye-negative, positive, noma ingxube yayo. Ukunamathela ngokomzwelo kowesifazane noma indoda kuvela njengomphumela wobudlelwano bocansi kanye nabesifazane abafomayo ngokushesha. Ukunamathela ngokomzwelo kunomqondo omuhle: ubuhlobo nokufakwa kwemizwelo kunzima ukubhubhisa - lokhu kuyisizathu esihle semibhangqwana, kodwa uma ubuhlobo busekelwe emizweni ewonakalisayo noma engavamile, kunzima ukuthi abantu abanjalo bahlukane, bobabili bayathandana futhi bazondane, bakha umbuthano ononya wezifiso ezibuhlungu komunye nomunye.
Uthando oluthandekayo
Ukuthinteka kobuciko kwengqondo kubhekisela ezinkingeni ze-attachment neurotic futhi kuboniswa ngokunamathela ngokweqile kumama, okwenza kube lula ukufaka lolu hlobo lokunamathisela kwezinye izinhlobo zezinhlobo ezingathembeki: okungahambi kahle, okungenayo i-neurotic. Ukuphazanyiswa lapha kuphawulwe ngokuphazamiseka kobudlelwane: ingane isondelene kakhulu nomama, kodwa uma ihamba kancane, uma ibonakala kukhona ukushaywa kwenjabulo, ngokushesha kufakwe ukukhala, ukuhlambalaza nokuhlukunyezwa kumama, ngokushiya ingane yedwa.
Okunamathiselwe okunamandla
Ukuziqhenya okuqakathekileko ekunamathiselwe kuyisici sezingane kanye nabantu abadala abakhuliswe ngokuzikhandla futhi bathola kancane kunokwesaba nokukhathazeka, bakhulela ezimweni 'zokulamba ngokomzwelo'. Ukunamathiselwa okungahambi kahle kungabangela ukungalingani kwengqondo okungathí sina - isifo sokunamathisela okusebenzayo, lapho ingane, intsha, izama ukunakwa kubantu abangabazi ngokuphelele, okwenza kube yisisulu esilula kubantu abangathembeki.
Ukubonakaliswa kokunamathiselwe okungafani:
- ukungahloniphi ;
- lawula imisebenzi yabo kanye nabanye;
- ukukhathazeka, ukungabaza;
- ukubonisa okungenele kwemizwelo (ukwehluleka, amahlaya, intukuthelo);
- ukungathembeki kwezwe;
- imizwa engavamile ngomama, abantu abaseduze - kusukela othandweni ukuzonda izikhathi eziningana ngosuku.
Uthando lobuhlobo
Ukukhungatheka kokunamathiswa kohlobo oluxubene, lapho kukhona ukukhathazeka okuqinile kokuhlukanisa kanye nesifiso sokuhlanganisana nomunye obalulekile, ukuchithwa kuyo - lokhu kuyisimo senhliziyo. Ngomntwana osanda kuzalwa, ukuphikisana nomama kubalulekile kakhulu ekusindeni, izinhlelo zesignali zomntwana wengane nomama zisebenza ngesigqi sokuvumelanisa, zizwelana. Kodwa ingane iyavela futhi kufanele kancane kancane ihlukaniswe nomama.
Inkinga yeminyaka emithathu, lapho umntwana ephikisana futhi ezama ukwenza izinto eyedwa, kanti inkulumo eyinhloko ngalesi sikhathi "Mina ngokwami!" Kubonisa ngokucacile ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokucabanga nomuntu omncane ilungelo lakhe lokuzimela nokwazi umhlaba ngokwakhe. Umama ohluphayo uphikisana kakhulu nale nqubo, kwenzeka ngoba ngesikhathi esisodwa wayenenkinga yokuhlukana nonina, kuyilapho imizwa iphakama:
- ukungabi namandla;
- ukukhathala okuphelele;
- ukucasuka nokuthukuthela;
- unecala kanye nehlazo.
Izimpawu zokunamathiselwa kwe-symbiotic yengane nomama:
- yonke imisebenzi yakhe ingane ikhala kumama, ngaphandle kwakhe nesinyathelo angeke angene;
- uyala umama;
- udinga ukugqugquzela kwangaphandle emisebenzini, ukuzijabulisa, isithakazelo somuntu siqu asivuki;
- akakwazi ukulawula futhi aphile isimo sakhe somzwelo.
Ukuthandana ngokobulili
Isidingo sokunamathela kumlingani wezocansi kwabesifazane sikhulume kakhulu kunabantu. Ukuthintana okuthandana noma ngokobulili kwakha ngaphansi kwethonya lokukhululwa phakathi kobulili obuningi be-oxytocin, emadodeni awutholile kancane nge testosterone, futhi kwabesifazane kuqiniswa yi-estrogen, i-hormone ene-calming futhi "ebopha". Ngakho-ke, abesifazane bangabanjana nomlingani emva kokuxhumana kocansi bokuqala, futhi banamathisele ukubaluleka okukhulu kocansi.
Igebe nomlingani liyabonakala owesifazane kakhulu kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, ukunamathela kocansi kuyisimo sengqondo esisodwa. Emadodeni, ukuthandana ngokomzwelo nomlingani wezocansi kuhlanganiswa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kuwesifazane, lokhu okunamathiselweyo kuyajula nakakhulu, ngoba kuthatha ukuthintana kokubonga ngenjabulo yenyama enikezwa umlingani.
Gwema Okokunamathisela Uhlobo
I-theory yokunamathisela ihlukanisa ukugwema okunamathiselwe okunamathiselwe njengokwephulwa okujwayelekile kwabantu abangaba ngu-25%. Izingane ezinephethini yokugwema eguqukayo ziziphatha ngendlela ebonakala njengezinganaki ukusuka ohlangothini: umama ushiya noma uya kubo noma kunjalo. Ngenhlobo yokugwema okunamathiselwe, ingane ingakwazi ukuxhumana ngokuphepha nabantu abangabazi. Ngokuvamile abazali abafaki izingane ezinjalo, bebonisa abangane babo ukuthi ingane yabo inenkululeko iminyaka. Lolu hlobo lokunamathisela luvela kumacala alandelayo:
- ukuhlukana ekuqaleni komama (ukuhamba okude, ukufa);
- ukunqotshwa komphakathi;
- ukulawula ngokweqile nokulawula ngesikhathi esincane;
Ukugwema okunamathiselwe - izibonakaliso ebuntwaneni nasebudala:
- ukuhluleka ukwakha ubuhlobo besikhathi eside;
- ukungakwazi ukufuna usizo, ukwesekwa - bukhoma yedwa;
- ukungabi nokunamathela kubantu abalulekile, abalulekile;
- isimo sengqondo esibi ekubukeni kokunakekelwa ngaphandle, ukhethe ukungathinti.
Uthando lwe-Neurotic
Ukunamathela kwengane kumama kungaba buhlungu. Ezinye izingane zidinga ukuhlala njalo komama, futhi kumthatha amaminithi ambalwa ukuba angene emangcwabeni, futhi umama omuhle ugijimela ngokushesha ukuzolalisa ingane, emdonsa kuyo yonke indawo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuxhashazwa ngumntwana okhulayo kuyaqina futhi kuqala ukudala ukukhathazeka okukhulu. Izingane ezinjalo zifunda umthetho wokuthi ukuze othandekayo asondele, umuntu kumele ahlupheke futhi adlale ekuhluphekeni kwakhe.
Kubantu abadala, ukugula noma ukuthanda uthando kudluliselwa kubo bonke ubudlelwane obunenzuzo, kodwa ikakhulu uma kwenzeka ubudlelwane bomshado. Indlela ebonakala ngayo:
- ukuphila kunciphisa umuntu oyedwa;
- isidingo sokuba omunye abone lokhu kubudlelwane nencazelo yokuphila;
- ukukhathazeka njalo nokukhathazeka ebuhlotsheni;
- lawula impilo yomuntu womunye;
- ukubhubhisa imizwa: umhawu, intukuthelo.
Uthando olungavamile
Ukuhlukumeza okunamathiselweyo ngendlela yokubonisa amaphethini wokuziphatha okuphikisanayo okunamathiselwe okungalungile. Lolu hlobo lokunamathisela lufakwe ebuntwaneni, emndenini lapho abazali bathambekele khona ubudlova futhi baphatha kabi ingane, ngenxa yalokho, abantwana bakhula abakwazi ukulawula ukuziphatha kwabo, okubonakala ngokungaziphathi kahle. Lokhu kuboniswa ngamanga, ukweba, ukuzilimaza wena nabanye, ubudlova. Bahlala ngesimiso esithi "Anginaso lutho lokulahlekelwa!" Izimpawu zokunamathiselwe okungalungile:
- ukungabi nozwela ;
- ukungakwazi ukuveza imizwa yabo ngokwanele;
- inkulumo embi;
- ukungabi nentshisekelo yokuhlola, ilukuluku, ukucabanga;
- ukungakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuseduze, nokuthembela nabantu;
- akukho umehluko phakathi kwalabo abangathembeka nalabo abangakwazi (abathembeke ngabantu abajwayele ukuxhumana nabo, kuyilapho abantu abaseduze kubhekwa njengokwesabisa);
- abantu babonakala njengensiza engasetshenziselwa izinhloso zabo siqu.