Ubuhlobo obunothando nomuntu oshadile bungenye yezinhlobo eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu zobudlelwane. Kwenzeka ukuthi akulula owesifazane noma indoda ukuyiqonda. Ubuhlobo obunjalo bunzima ukubiza ubuhlobo phakathi kwabantu ababili. Abanye abantu batheleka ngokungazibandakanyi kubo ngokungaqondile: abashade, izingane.
Ungakha kanjani ubuhlobo nendoda eshadile?
Ungathola izeluleko eziningi kusuka kwengqondo kwengqondo mayelana nobuhlobo nomuntu oshadile. Kodwa-ke, bonke babilisa ukuthi owesifazane udinga ukubuka kahle isimo kusukela ekuqaleni.
Izindebe eziningi zithi indoda eshadile ayithandi umkayo, kodwa iyamthanda. Yiqiniso, uzakusho lokhu, ngoba kungenjalo ngeke abe nobuhlobo obungaphandle komshado. Kunezizathu ezehlukene zokuthi kungani indoda eshadile ikhetha ukuthengiswa komuntu ongashadile. Kodwa phakathi kwalezi zizathu, kuphela amaphesenti amancane angokwesifiso sokuthola uthando olusha bese ushiya umndeni. Ngokuvamile umuntu uthatha isinqumo sokwenza uxhumano olusha, kodwa akalungele ukubhubhisa umndeni wakhe, alahlekelwe ubuhlobo nowesifazane ohlangene naye iminyaka yokuhlala ndawonye, impilo ejwayelekile, abajwayele kanye nabantwana.
Ubudlelwano nomuntu oshadile buyinkimbinkimbi ngoba akukho okungafunwa kumuntu othandekayo. Futhi okubi kakhulu ukuthi inkosikazi izonikezwa indima ye-violin yesibili njalo. Angakwazi ukusekelwa ngokwezimali, kodwa kuphela emalini asele emndenini. Angakwazi ukufaka isicelo isikhathi esithile, kodwa kuphela lapho indoda ibalekela ngokusuka emndenini.
Ngokuvamile indoda iya ebuhlotsheni obungaphandle komshado, njengenye eyengeziwe, kodwa hhayi esikhundleni somndeni. Ubuhlobo obunjalo buhlala iminyaka eminingi ngendlela engashintshi. Izithembiso zesehlukaniso zingaphulwa ngokugula kowesifazane, iminyaka yengane, izinkinga emsebenzini.
Kulokhu, lo wesifazane uqala ukuhlupheka, ukuqonda isimo sengqondo somuntu oshadile. Noma kunjalo, njalo uyazi iqiniso, kodwa akafuni ukwamukela. Iqiniso liwukuthi ebuhlotsheni obunjalo, amadoda avame ukuhlala ezihlalo ezimbili: uhlale nomndeni futhi ube nenkosikazi. Kulesi simo, owesifazane kufanele anqume ngezinye izinkinga:
- kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna ubuhlobo obunjalo, ingabe uzimisele ukuhlala kubo ngaphandle komndeni ogcwele;
- Ingabe uhlale ekulungele ukuba ngemuva futhi waneliseke ngalokho asele ngemuva komndeni;
- Ukulungele yini ukulinda iminyaka eminingi ngokuhlukanisa kwakhe;
- Ingabe uzokwazi ukusabela ngokuthula uma umuntu ekhathele inkosikazi?
Lezi zindaba nezinye izidingo zidinga ukuxazululwa ngokushesha, ukuze kamuva ungenzi isikhalazo, ungabe usola umuntu wonke.
Indlela yokugcina ubuhlobo nendoda eshadile?
Uma, naphezu kwayo yonke "imigomo", owesifazane uhlose ukugcina ubuhlobo nendoda eshadile, kufanele alandele iseluleko esinjalo:
- Ungamgxeka umyeni womuntu. Ngisho noma ekhononda ngakho, angathukuthela ngamazwi enkosikazi yakhe, ngoba usazizwa exhunyaniswe nomkakhe.
- Ungatsheli muntu ngalokhu ubuhlobo. Uma umfazi etholakele ngengozi ngemicimbi yomshado engashadile naye, angamphoqa lowo mlingani ukuba amvimbele.
- Awukwazi ukubeka ingcindezi kumuntu.
- Kubalulekile ukutshela umuntu ngothando lwakhe nangokubaluleka kwakhe empilweni.
- Njengoba ngokuvamile umuntu efuna ubulili obuhle ohlangothini, umnkosikazi udinga ukuba ngumsebenzi kule ndaba.
Ubuhlobo phakathi komuntu oshadile nomfazi oshadile
Loluhlobo lobuhlobo bamadoda amaningi luyamukeleka ngaphezu kobudlelwano nomama wamahhala. Lezi zinduna azidingi, azidingi ukunikeza izipho ezibizayo, abanesikhathi esincane sokuhlangana, kulula ukubhekana nokuhlukanisa.
Nokho, okwesifazane ubuhlobo obunjalo buba nombi kakhulu kunezinto ezinhle. Njengoba owesifazane ngokwemvelo engokomzwelo futhi ezwela, ukuzilibazisa ohlangothini oluvame ukubonakala ngokushesha kumalungu omndeni. Yingakho imishado yokukhohliswa komfazi iphela ngokushesha kunemishado enobudlova besilisa.