Umbuzo wokuthi kulula kanjani ukusinda ukuhlukanisana nomuntu othandekayo (kanye nokucindezeleka okuhambisana nalo) kuyingozi nakakhulu kunabantu abangakaze bahlangabezane nesimo esinjalo bacabanga. Ukuxazulula le nkinga ngokulahlekelwa okungenani kuzokusiza izazi zengqondo.
Amathiphu wokuthi ungaphila ukukhaphela futhi uhlukanise nendoda yakho ethandekayo
Ukuhlukana kobuhlobo kunzima kakhulu uma kuhambisana nokuhlubuka. Ukwehliswa komuntu othandekayo kubangela ukulimala okukhulu kumuntu oye wangikelwa. Futhi kaningi akunakwenzeka ukubhekana nemiphumela yokucindezeleka ngokuzimela - ukululekwa kwengqondo kuyadingeka.
Ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukanisa, umuntu oshiyekile uthola imizwelo emibi, isimo sakhe sengqondo siyabhujiswa ngokuphelele. Lesi simo sinzima ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane, abavame ukufaka iqembu lokucindezeleka okungenathemba isikhathi eside. Lesi simo sibonakala ngokudonsa okubukhali ekuzihloniphekeni, ezithakazelisayo, nomuzwa wecala, kanye nokulala, ukulahlekelwa ukudla, inkumbulo nokukhubazeka kokunakekelwa, njll.
Amathiphu wezengqondo, indlela yokusinda ekuhlukaneni nomuntu othandekayo
I-cocktail yokuhlangenwe nakho ngemuva kokuhlukanisana nomuntu othandekayo yakho kuhlanganisa ukudabuka, ukukhathazeka, ukudumazeka, ukunganaki, ukucindezeleka. Futhi uma umuntu engaphezu komzwelo, isisindo sakhe sesibuthakathaka, kuyinkimbinkimbi imiphumela yalezi zindaba ezizoba nakho.
Ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ukuhlukunyezwa komuntu owahlukana nabathandekayo kuhle kakhulu, umuntu kufanele afunde i-psychophysiology yothando. Ngesikhathi sokuthanda uthando oluqinile, umzimba ukhulula inqwaba ye-serotonin, i-endorphins ne-dopamine. Lawa mahomoni adala isizinda esingokomzwelo esikhukhumezekile - phambi kwento enesithakazelo, umuntu othandweni uzizwa uhlakulela, ukukhanya kokuphila. Ukuhlukumeza ubuhlobo ngesikhathi esinjalo kufana nokunciphisa umthamo wecala.
Ukuhlala "uthando lwe-dopamine" cishe iminyaka emithathu, kanti omunye wabathandi, kungase kuphele ekuqaleni, futhi nguye ovame ukuqala ukuhlukanisa. Futhi into yokuqala yokuqonda abashiywe yiyo ukuthi bahlukana naye hhayi ngenxa yokuthi waba mabi kakhulu, kodwa ngoba umuzwa we-dopamine euphoria ebusweni bakhe awusabonakali.
Amamodeli wokuziphatha uma kwenzeka ukuhlukaniswa ngokuvamile kubonisa ezimbili. Iyokuqala - isakhiwo esiyinkimbinkimbi - sibonakala sinolaka, isifiso sokuphindiselela. Okwesibili - isakhiwo esisisulu - singabonwa ngokunganakwa, ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka. Kodwa ezimweni zokuqala nezibili, umuntu uzibuza ukuthi angaphila kanjani isizungu ngemva kokuhlukanisa.
Izazi zezinqondo zeluleka uma kwenzeka ukuhlukanisa ngokushesha kuqale ukuthatha izinyathelo ezithile zokunciphisa isimo sengqondo. Okokuqala, udinga ukulahla imizwelo, okungeyona "eyokudla" ngaphakathi. Ngesimo sengqondo esinobudlova, ungashaya umcamelo, ubhontshisi bebhokisi, uhlele ukugijimela, noma ukhathele ngokuzivocavoca kuma-simulators. Uma ufuna ukumemeza noma ukukhala, udinga futhi ukuzwa umzimba wakho bese uphonsa okungalungile ngale ndlela.
Ngemuva kwemizwelo, ngokuvamile ukukhathala kwenzeka. Ngaleso sikhathi kuyisifiso sokuphumula futhi "uzigcwalise" ngemizwelo emihle. Lokhu kuzosiza iseshini yokuzindla, okuzosiza ukukhululeka komzimba, nasesimweni sengqondo.
Ubuhlungu be-psychotic bungalandela, okungeke kwenzeke ukuzifihla. Ukuqeda ubuhlungu kusiza idivayisi enjalo engokwengqondo: udinga ukuthatha iphepha, upende ngokubuhlungu ngokucacile ngangokunokwenzeka, bese-ulibhubhise nganoma iyiphi indlela. Le nqubo ingadinga ukuba iphindwe kaningi, kodwa isebenza kakhulu.
Isinyathelo sokugcina ukutholakala kwencazelo elahlekile kanye nenambitheko yokuphila. Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga ukubandakanya yonke ingqondo yakho futhi uthole umsebenzi othakazelisayo, ukuzilibazisa, ukungena ezemidlalo, uhambo, uhlangabezane nabantu abasha, futhi mhlawumbe unothando olusha.