Mhlawumbe, abesifazane abaningi esikhathini sethu bavame ukuzibuza ukuthi bangasindisa kanjani umndeni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, indlela yokulondoloza, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukwazi ukugcina ukuthula emndenini. Ngempela, endleleni yokuphila, kungavela izinkinga ezihlukahlukene: kokubili ezifuywayo kanye nezinto ezibonakalayo. Uma uzixazulula ndawonye, ungagwema ukungqubuzana, okuyizimo ezinjalo kuzoba okungenakuqhathaniswa.
Okokuqala, kuyadingeka ukunquma ukuthi kubalulekile nokuthi kuyadingeka yini ukugcina umndeni nhlobo? Ingabe kukhona isizathu esihle salokhu? Ukulinganisa zonke izinzuzo nezindleko. Zama ukubheka isimo njengokungathi ungumuntu obuka ngaphandle. Ungathanda yini ukuphila komndeni onjalo, isibonelo, udade wakho? Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi ezweni lethu lezimiso ngokuqinisekile alikho. Uma sekubhujisiwe, kuyoba nzima ukwakha futhi.
Omunye ufuna ukugcina umndeni okuhle kwezingane zabo. Futhi lokhu kuyaqondakala kahle. Kunzima ingane encane ukuba idlulisele ulwazi mayelana nokuthi kungani uyise engafiki kaningi. Futhi uma engekho nhlobo ekuphileni komntwana? Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungagcina kanjani umndeni futhi ukhetha isehlukaniso, cabanga ukuthi uchaza kanjani ingane yakho ukuthi abazali abasasekho ndawonye. Yenza ngendlela yokuthi kunoma yikuphi lapho i-psyche yakhe ingathinteki. Futhi uma ungakwazi ukuthola noma iyiphi inketho, ungayilondoloza kanjani umndeni, bese ucabanga kangcono ngemininingwane yengxoxo kusengaphambili.
Amathiphu wokuthi ungayilondoloza kanjani umndeni, awukwazi ukuthola kuphela izihlobo zakho nabangani bakho, kodwa futhi utholakala ezincwadini ezifanele. Akunakwenzeka njalo ukuxazulula konke ngokwakho - into eyinhloko akufanele ukwesabe ukwenza okuthile, bese uzama ukuqonda ukuthi kufanelekile ukugcina umndeni.
Ngokuvamile kuvela ukuthi abashadile banamathele kakhulu esimisweni sokuthi le ndoda i-getter, futhi owesifazane ungumgcini wendawo. Yiqiniso, kufanele kube njalo. Asikho isidingo sokuthi singene kuwo. Ukuhlukaniswa okunjalo kungabangela ukungezwani okukhulu. Kulokhu, iseluleko sendlela yokulondoloza umndeni, esizibonakalisa ekuphumuzeni okuthile kohlaka olusungulwe, kubalulekile. Ngoba akekho ozoba yizindaba ukuthi owesifazane angasebenza, enze ukuthi aziqaphele. Futhi, ungafaka umyeni wakho ekuphekeni, isibonelo, ukuqala ngamaholide. Futhi lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele ahlale ngaso sonke isikhathi esitofu, evuselela isobho. Konke kuhlobene. Okubalulekile ukuthi, okokuqala, lapho upheka, kuyoba nelungelo elengeziwe lokuhlangana okuhlanganyelwe, futhi, okwesibili, kungaba njengendlela enhle yokugcina umndeni, nokuqinisa ubuhlobo.
Ungasindisa kanjani umndeni emva kokuhlubuka?
Okubaluleke nakakhulu umbuzo wokuthi ungayigcina kanjani umndeni emva kokuhlubuka? Futhi nendlela yokugcina ubudlelwane obuvamile emndenini, uma indoda ikhetha omunye owesifazane? Phela, akuwona wonke umuntu ozoba nengqondo kulezi zikhathi ukuqonda izizathu zalokho okwenzekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanelekile ukugcina umndeni ngenxa yengane ngemuva kokuzwa ubuhlungu obuvela ekungathembekeni komyeni wakhe? Ukuze kulandeleke ukuthi kubekho ukuhlambalaza ekuqondeni komlingani, kubalulekile ukukhohlwa ngempela konke okwenzekile, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu ukuzama ukuthethelela.
Kubalulekile ukumemeza engxoxweni eqondile ukuze aqonde isimo sakhe sengqondo esimweni. Phela, ngokwakho, ngeke ukwazi ukufeza okuningi. Kunoma yikuphi, lokhu kufanele kube yisinqumo esisodwa. Zama ukuthola ukulingana okuzohambisana nazo zombili zombili - mhlawumbe lokhu akuyona ukuphela kobudlelwane bakho. Ngemuva kokuqonda izizathu ongazikhethela zona: indlela yokulondoloza umndeni nangemva kokungathengi komyeni wakhe. Into esemqoka akuyona ukusika kusukela ehlombe, nokucabanga ngokucophelela, ukulahla yonke imizwelo.
Ungasindisa kanjani umndeni futhi ngani? Iseluleko somqondo wezengqondo singasiza lapha. Ngenhlanhla esikhathini sethu, izikhungo eziningi ezinikeza lolu hlobo lokusizwa kwengqondo. Kodwa ungahambi kokuqala, ngoba isazi sengqondo singase sincike ekuthuthukiseni impilo yakho yomndeni wesikhathi esizayo.