Ukuphuza ngokweqile yisifo esibuyisa impilo yesiguli kanye nabathandekayo bakhe kube yinto engathí sina. Ngenxa yalesi simo, ngisho nesikhathi esithile esikhethekile - i-codependence. Okufanele ukwenze kumuntu wesifazane, uma umyeni wakhe engumlutha wotshwala, uzokweluleka iseluleko somqondo wezengqondo.
Amathiphu wesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ukuthi ungahlala kanjani nomyeni utshwala
Uma owesifazane, naphezu kokulutha, eqhubeka ethanda umyeni wakhe, uyaqhubeka nokuhlala naye kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini. Kulokhu, umfazi kufanele azame ukusiza umyeni wakhe ukuba anqobe lesi sifo.
Izibonelo zokuphuza ukudakwa ngokweqile akuyona into engavamile, omunye ususizwa yizinkolelo eziqotho, enye ingumqondo wezengqondo, okwesithathu imithi kanye ne "coding" ehlukahlukene. Indlela kunoma yisiphi isimo kufanele ikhethwe ngamunye. Noma kunjalo, kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi usizo lwezingqondo luyadingeka kowesifazane ngokwakhe, ngoba ukuphila kokukhathazeka okuphakade nokucindezeleka kuphelile kokubili ngokomzimba nangokwemvelo.
Kodwa ngenkathi umyeni ephuza, lo wesifazane kufanele agcine imithetho ethile:
- awukwazi ukukhombisa ubuthakathaka bakho nokungabi namandla - ukuziphatha kwalowo wesifazane kuyoshukumisela le ndoda ngisho nokukhululeka okukhulu, futhi uma indoda iyazi ukuthi umfazi uzophila kahle ngaphandle kwakhe, uzama ukubhekana nale nkinga;
- umfazi akufanele akhohlwe ukuthi ungowesifazane - indoda kufanele ikhumbule njalo ukuthi uyayithanda umkakhe, khona-ke isifiso sokunqoba lesi sifo siyoba namandla kuye;
- umkakhe udinga isikhathi esiningi sokunika umyeni wakhe - izithakazelo zomndeni kanye nezithakazelo zomndeni kungenza isimangaliso futhi kuphefumule umuntu.
Yini ongenakuyenza kumfazi womyeni ophuzayo:
- ukuhlambalaza, ukwenza amahlaya, "wabona" oshade naye;
- ungayinaki noma isongele isehlukaniso;
- qalisa ngokwakho;
- cringe futhi uvumele ukwephuza utshwala;
- ukucasula umyeni - akusiye omubi, kodwa umkhuba wakhe;
- ukusola abangane nezihlobo ngokudakwa ngokweqile - umuntu uzikhethela.
Ukusiza umyeni wakhe, kubalulekile ukukhomba izimbangela zokudakwa ngokweqile. Lokhu kungaba yisimo somzimba, ukucindezeleka okuqinile okuhlobene nokufa, ukuxoshwa, ukuhlubuka. Umfazi kumele azame ukuqonda ukuthi yini eyinikeza umyeni wakhe utshwala - ukhulula, uvumele ukukhohlwa izinkinga, amdonsele ukunakwa.
Kodwa uma kungekho lutho olusiza, umuntu uphuze futhi "aphule izandla zakhe," owesifazane angenenkinga eyodwa kuphela: indlela yokubalekela umyeni wakhe - utshwala nomshayeli - ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa, ukulondoloza impilo engokwengqondo nengqondo. Futhi uma isinqumo esinjalo senziwe, kufanele senziwe ngaphandle kokulibala futhi sizisole, ukuqinisekisa ukuphepha kwabo kanye nezingane.