Umbuzo, lapho kunzima khona ukunikeza impendulo ecacile, uhlushwa yizizukulwane ezingaphezu kwesisodwa. Kuyini ukungakhathaleli okwedlulele noma inzondo? Yebo, zombili zilimaza imizwa yomuntu, kodwa, njengoba wazi, inzondo ibamba kuphela imizwa nokuzihlonipha komuntu, ngenkathi ukunganakwa kubulala, kusho ukuthi ukunganaki kuyingozi kakhulu?
Ngakho-ke, yini ukunganaki? Ukunganaki ukungafuni ukubamba iqhaza kokubili ekushintsheni empilweni yakho kanye nasezinguquko empilweni yomphakathi. Abantu abangenandaba nabangenalo ulwazi ngabanye abantu, abakasebenzi futhi bahlale bengenandaba.
Kunezibonakaliso eziningi zokungakhathaleli, kanti inzondo iboniswa kuphela ngomzwelo oqinile ovimbela hhayi kuphela into ewubangela kodwa futhi owenzayo.
Izimbangela zokungakhathaleli
Inkinga yokungakhathaleli ikhona kumuntu ngokwakhe, ngokuhlambalaza kwakhe nesifiso sakhe sokuzivikela ebuhlungu obubangelwa. Njengomthetho, umuntu uqala ukungabi nandaba nokuphila njengomhlobo wokuvikelwa, ngakho-ke, uzama ukuzivikela ekucindezelekeni nasemizwelo emibi.
Isifiso sokuzivikela ezweni elimbi, eliphikisana ngokuphindaphindiwe futhi elicasule imizwa yakhe, liholela ekutheni umuntu ngokungazi kahle uqala ukuveza ukunganakwa. Kodwa lokhu kubhekene nemiphumela. Ngokuvamile, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukunganaki kuba isimo sangaphakathi somuntu, futhi akubonakali nje ukungakhathaleli impilo yomphakathi, kodwa futhi nokungakhathaleli.
Izizathu zokungakhathaleli kungase kube ukuphuza utshwala, ukulutha izidakamizwa, ukugula kwengqondo, imithi noma ukuphuza kwengqondo. Izindlela ezincane zesikhathi sokunganakwa zilashwa kalula, ngoba zivame ukuvela ngenxa yokucindezeleka okuqinile noma ukungabi nokucindezeleka nokuthanda.
Ukunganaki komyeni
Umbuzo okhathazeka ikakhulukazi besifazane, siyini isizathu sokunganakwa ebuhlotsheni? Futhi kungani kuvela ukukhathazeka komuntu kumuntu oyedwa othandekayo?
Into yokuqala okumele uyikhumbule kule nkinga ukuthi ukunganakwa komuntu akuveli ndawo. Njengomthetho, kubonakala ngokuhlambalaza kanye nokuthukuthela, ngokuphila okungavamile kobulili, ngisho nalapho kungekho khona. Indoda ngeke ishiye owesifazane wakhe othandekayo, oyihlela embhedeni. Mhlawumbe isizathu sokungakhathaleli komyeni wakhe kwakuyiveli enhlangothini. Kunoma yikuphi, uma omunye womshado eqala ukuzizwa enganandaba nomunye, akudingeki ukuba ugxile kuwe kuphela, kodwa ukhulume nomlingani wakho. Mhlawumbe, isizathu sokunganakwa kwaba uhlobo oluthile lwezingxabano zasekhaya, ezingasombulula kalula ngokukhuluma ngakho. Kodwa-ke, uma enye ingxenye yakho engafuni ukulalela noma yini, akeke uguqule ebuhlotsheni bakho, mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba.
Isitatimende esaziwayo se-A.P. I-Chekhov kule akhawunti ithi: "Ukunganaki ukukhubazeka komphefumulo, ukufa kwangaphambi kwesikhathi" futhi akulula ukulwa nayo, kodwa inzondo imane nje imizwelo yokuthi yonke into ayinalutho futhi ayihambisani nayo.
Uma omunye wabathandekayo bakho ebhekene nenkinga yokunganakwa, ungabeki eceleni. Zibuze umbuzo: "Indlela yokubhekana nokunganaki?". Msize axazulule le nkinga yangaphakathi, uchaze ukuthi impilo yomuntu ayinakwenzeka ngaphandle kokukhathazeka, ukunakekelwa, ukuqonda nokuthanda, ngoba lapho behlala bengenandaba, akunakwenzeka.