Enye yezinhlobo ezinzima kakhulu zokuthembela kuxhomeke kumuntu. Lokhu kujwayelene ikakhulukazi nabesifazane abaphoqelelwe kakhulu othandekayo. Indlela yokuqeda ukulutha komuntu kumuntu uyokwenza izeluleko zezengqondo.
Indlela yokuqeda ukuthembela ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo kubantu
Ukuthembela kwengqondo nangokomzwelo emadodeni kuyisici esiningi sabesifazane abangenakulinganiswa, abadinga ukusekelwa njalo nokunakekelwa njalo. Ukuhlanganiswa kwengqondo enesifo somuntu nomuntu kwenza owesifazane obuthakathaka kakade abe nobungozi futhi obesabekayo.
Ukuqaphela ukuthembela kwesifazane kumuntu kungaba ngaphansi kwezizathu ezilandelayo:
- ukunyamalala kwesithakazelo kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila lapho kungekho muntu okhona khona;
- "ukuchithwa" okugcwele kulabo abathandekayo;
- ukuhlukunyezwa ngokusola kancane ukuthi omunye wesifazane ufuna ukuthatha umthandi wakhe;
- umhawu othukuthele, ukuhlola njalo, izingcingo, i-SMS;
- ukwesaba ukwesaba;
- "ukuphuka" kwengqondo "uma othandekayo engasondeli;
- ukungaboni kahle komuntu, ukulungiswa kwezenzo zakhe ezimbi kakhulu;
- ukungabi khona ebuhlotsheni bokuthokoza ngokuphila, okunikeza uthando lwangempela kuphela, owesifazane ujabulela ukuhlupheka kwakhe.
Abesifazane abazibonele ngokwabo kulezi zimpawu banconywa ukuba baqale ngokuphuthuma ukuqeda ukuthembela emadodeni. Noma kunjalo, isigaba esinzima kunazo zonke ukuqaphela ukuthi kukhona khona inkinga. Owesifazane othembekile uthatha ukungabaza, futhi kumsize enze isinqumo ngezihlobo, okumele akhombise ukuthi ubuhlobo bulethwa kuphela yizinkinga futhi buhlanganisa amandla okuphila.
Uma owesifazane eqaphela ukuthi ukugxila kwakhe kugxile kumuntu, kumele ahlaziye ubuhlobo futhi aqonde ukuthi izici zesilisa zibangela ukuthembela kwakhe. Funda lokhu kuzosiza futhi kuhlaziywe ubudlelwano obudlule, tk. incike ekutheni abesifazane bancike ngokuvamile bakhetha uhlobo oluthile lwamadoda.
Uma owesifazane engafuni ukuhlukana nale ndoda, kufanele aqonde ngokucacile imingcele yakhe, akhulise ukuzithemba kwakhe, aqede ama-debris angokomqondo okwanele. Isinyathelo esibalulekile ukukhuluma nendoda, ukukhipha zonke izinto ezingalondoloziwe, izinto ezihlupha owesifazane.
Into yokugcina owesifazane othembekile kudingeka ayenze ukuzithola. Futhi leli phuzu liyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu futhi linzima kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukubheka ubuhlobo obuxhomekile futhi uqaphele konke abaye banqatshelwe: izifundo kwelinye idolobha, ukuhamba nabangani, ubuhlobo obuhle nabangane nezihlobo. Owesifazane kufanele 'adonsele' isithombe sakhe futhi alwele ukuzalwa kwakhe. Futhi, ngokufanele, ukugwema amadoda, okubangela ukuthembela kwakhe kwengqondo nangokomzwelo.