Amazwi wengoma yabantwana abadumile "umngane oswele ngeke alahle" yisibonelo esicacile sokuthi umuntu ubona kanjani ubudlelwane obuseduze. Kuyini ubungane nokuthi ngabe kusezweni lanamuhla, lapho abantu bexhumana khona ngokusebenzisa amanethiwekhi omphakathi, futhi kungavamile ukuthi kwenzeke empilweni yangempela.
Ingabe kukhona ubungane?
Umqondo wobungane wawucatshangelwa amakhulu eminyaka ngabameleli bezindiza ezihlukahlukene zefilosofi, kodwa abacwaningi abakhulu babengabalobi, izimbongi kanye nezengqondo. Isimo sobuhlobo asigcini uhlaka oluthile, kodwa ngokubheka kabanzi kwabantu abaningi, ubungane buhlobo obuseduze noluthembayo phakathi kwabantu, ngokusekelwe ekuthandweni kokubili, indlela yokuphila nokuqonda okunembile komunye nomunye.
Psychology of Friendship
Inkinga yobungane ikhona, izazi zezenhlalo zikholelwa. Ngesikhathi esisheshayo kwezobuchwepheshe bekhompyutha, abantu bakhetha ukuxhumana ngezindlela zaselula, kuyilapho ngokuvamile kungabi nesikhathi somhlangano womuntu siqu. Abantu balahlekelwa okuningi: azikho amakhophi enobungane ehlombe, ukuxhumana okubukwayo, nokuthembeka kungekho. Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi ukubaluleka kobudlelwane bukhona emihlanganweni, ukuxhumana okuqondile ngqo, futhi ukungabi nokuxhumana okugcwele kungabangela ukucindezeleka . I-psychology yobungane iphetha ngezici ezinhle:
- uzizwa "Angiyedwa!" ngokumelene nesizungu nokuzihlukanisa;
- kuphela lapho kukhona khona okunye okuphawulekayo, umuntu wembula njengomuntu futhi ufunda ukuba umngane.
Izinhlobo zobungane
Kungani abantu bengabangane? Ukukhulunywa kokuqala kokubaluleka kobudlelwane kutholakala ngisho nasezindabeni zasendulo. Izimbongi zikhazimulisa ukubaluleka kwehlombe, ezitholakala esimeni esinzima eduze nesifiso sokwenza imizwa yobungane kuyo yonke impilo. Emphakathini, kuvamile ukuhlanganyela ubungane ngokweminyaka nobulili. Izinhlobo zobungane:
- Ingane - ingane ifunda umhlaba futhi izama ukwakha ubudlelwane nabanye, ukufunda ndawonye okuthile okusha okuthakazelisayo. Izingane zihlangana ngemidlalo evamile.
- Intsha - isidingo esikhulu sokuziveza, imizwa yakho. Ubungane kule nkathi bunecala eliphakeme lomzwelo. Izimfanelo zomunye zithandwa futhi ziphakanyiswe - ngomqondo omuhle zisisiza ukuba zisinde ezikhathini ezinzima ekuphileni: ukungaqondi komzali, imizwa yokungahleleki. Ubungane obusha bungaba uthando.
- Umuntu omdala - ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kungukuthi ubungane obwakhiwa ebuntwaneni futhi buqiniswa phakathi neminyaka. Abangane abanjalo bayazi zonke izinsizakalo kanye nokuphuma komunye nomunye - ubungane obunjalo buyinto engavamile kakhulu, ngakho-ke kuyigugu kakhulu. Kunezinhlobo eziningana zobungane abadala: isimo, nobungane, ibhizinisi.
- Ubuhlobo besilisa - izinganekwane zakhiwa ngaye, izingoma eziningi zihlabelelwa futhi izincwadi eziningi zibhalwa. Kuyini ubungane besilisa, obuboniswe kahle kwifilimu yaseSoviet "AbakwaMusketeers abathathu": ukusizana, ukwamukelwa komuntu ngokuphelele nakho konke ukushiyeka kwakhe, ukwethenjwa nokusiza ngisho nasezimo lapho umngane enenkinga ngokwenza iphutha lakhe. Ngokuvamile kubesifazane, ubungane besilisa bubangela ukungaqondi kanye nomona.
- Ubungane babesifazane - amadoda akholelwa ukuthi emvelweni akakho. Ubungani besifazane bungabonakala esibonelweni sefilimu ethi "Ubulili kanye Nomuzi".
Ukuze ubulili obuhle kakhulu ebuhlotsheni kubalulekile:
- uzwela nozwela;
- ukuthembeka;
- ukuthembeka;
- omunye umbono ngalesi simo;
- ubudlelwano obuyimfihlo;
- ithuba lokuthola ukwesekwa okudingekayo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi sosuku noma ebusuku.
Kuyini ubungane bangempela?
Kusho ukuthini ukuba abangane - hhayi nje ukuhlangana ndawonye nokuphuza ikhofi ndawonye ngezikhathi ezithile, kodwa okwangempela? Abantu abangenabo abangane bavame ukuzizwa benesizungu esikhulu futhi befisa. Ubungane bangempela bukhona esimweni sokuzibandakanya nokukhathalela kwangempela othandekayo, lapho abangane behlanganyela kokubili ukudabuka nenjabulo. Imiphefumulo ehlobene - enye yezinkolelo zokuphindukuzalwa kabusha ichaza isimo sobuhlobo ngokuzibandakanya okuhlangene emiphilweni eledlule. Imiphefumulo ilwela ukutholana futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lapho ihlangana, kunomuzwa oqinile wokuthi bazana isikhathi eside, lapho behlangana okokuqala.
Yini ubungani obanika umuntu?
Ubungane empilweni yomuntu ngenye yezindinganiso eziphakeme kakhulu ezihamba emndenini. Umngane yisibuko lapho ubona ukucabanga kwakho. Yiziphi izindinganiso ubungani obangezela ebuhlotsheni:
- ukuhambisana ngokuhlanganyela kwezimfanelo ezinhle zomunye nomunye;
- umuzwa wokusekelwa;
- ukuchitha isikhathi esimnandi;
- usizo oluhlanganyelana futhi luqhubeka ngezikhathi ezinzima;
- ufundisa ukungabi nabugovu nokuzinikela;
- imizwa emihle .
Iyini into ebalulekile ebuhlotsheni?
Kukhulunywa ngobungane okuningi, kepha kanjani ukuthi kunjani ukuthi imingcele ibaluleke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni futhi ngubani umngane wangempela? Umuntu ngamunye unombono wakhe ngobuningi bokubaluleka kobuhlobo bomuntu: ukuthi umuntu uthembekile futhi nethuba lokuthembela kuzo zonke izimfihlo, okujwayelekile kubantu besifazane, ngamadoda - lezi zizinto ezihlangene: ukudoba, ukuhamba ngezinyawo, ukuzingela. Izindlela ezivamile zobungane ziyizimfanelo eziphakade eziphakade: ukuhlonipha, umusa, nesithakazelo esiqotho komunye nomunye.
Ungafunda kanjani ukuba abangane?
Kubantu abathile, inkinga yokubunzima kokwakha ubudlelwane nabantu kungokoqobo futhi, ngenxa yalokho, kutholwa isizungu. Abantu abaningi bafuna ukuba nabangane abaseduze, kodwa ngenxa yezizathu eziningana abakwazi ngisho nokugcina oxhumana nabo abahlelekile. Ungaba kanjani abangane futhi kuneziqondiso ezithile zobungane? Izengqondo zezenhlalakahle zinikeza izincomo eziningana ezisiza ukuqala ukuxhumana nomuntu oyithandayo futhi uthuthukise ubudlelwane obuba ubungane, ngoba lokhu udinga:
- ukunqoba amahloni futhi wazijwayele;
- uthathe isinyathelo sokuzijwayeza ezandleni zabo;
- ukuba umuntu ovulekile;
- ukuthuthukisa ukuzwelana ;
- funda ukulalela omunye;
- ukusekelwa ezimweni ezinzima;
- baqonde ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano kudinga isikhathi eside, umzamo kanye nomsebenzi.
Yini ebhubhisa ubungane?
Ukuhlola ubungane kwenzeka ngesikhathi. Abantu ndawonye bahamba ngezigaba ezithile zokuphila ngokuhlolwa okuhlukahlukene, hhayi bonke abaphila. Izizathu zokuthi ngisho nezibopho ezinamandla kunazo zonke zingase ziwe phansi:
- Uthando oluvela kubangane ngomuntu oyedwa.
- Omunye wabahlobo uthola ngokucebile ngokushesha, okwesibili kunzima ukwamukela isimo sezenhlalo ezahlukene.
- Ukukhohliswa nokusho. Izizathu zingahluka - kodwa kwenzeka (umngane / intombi engcono kakhulu uthatha umfazi / umyeni).
Izincwadi mayelana nobungane
Ukubaluleka kobungane kwakudunyiswa yizimbongi nabalobi. Indlela yokuba umngane nabantu futhi ube umngane wangempela - lezi zifundo ezibalulekile zingafundwa ezincwadini zezincwadi zakudala nezanamuhla:
- "AbakwaMusketeers abathathu." I-Dumas . - Incwadi ngothando, ukuzinikela ekuhlonipheni kanye nemigomo. Lo msebenzi yiyona evezwe kakhulu emhlabeni wonke.
- "Izinhliziyo Zontathu". D. London . - Inoveli mayelana nokuzidela ngenxa yomngane nokuthi akukho mcebo ozothatha isikhundla sothando nobungane.
- "Amakhoradi amathathu," u-Erich Maria Remarque . - Incwadi emayelana nemizwa yangempela, eqotho, leyo umlobi eyenzile kahle.
- "UJane Eyre. S. Bronte . " - Ukuzidela kanye nobungane phakathi kwabalingisi abakhulu, bakhule waba uthando.
- "Ikati lomgwaqo okuthiwa uBob . " J. Bowen. - Ubuhlobo, phakathi komuntu nesilwane, kusiza ukunqoba ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo kukaJakobe nokulutha.