Noma yimuphi owesifazane uyajabula ukubona eduze komuntu onamandla, ukuqonda, onothando, efaka ezinye ubuthakathaka besifazane. Kodwa abantu abazungezile bavame ukubona umuntu onjalo njengomfazi okhukhumezekile womkakhe.
Kodwa ngubani lo ohlotshisiwe futhi uyini le nto?
Uyabona kanjani? Ubumnene futhi uthanda, ugcwalisa noma yikuphi ukushaywa komkakhe, hhayi ukumenza aphikisana nanyana yini. Owesifazane uyambona kanjani? Ukuthanda, ukuphatha, ukusebenza, njalo ngenxa. Futhi lo muntu ubona kanjani isimo sakhe? Mhlawumbe, uzizwa enesibopho esingenakuqhathaniswa nomndeni, ngenkathi ekholelwa ukuthi owesifazane ongu-priori kangcono uqonda zonke izinkinga zomndeni nezindlu. Ihlala nje ukuyilalela. Lezi yizibonakaliso ezijwayelekile ze-henpecked.
Indoda ibonakala kanjani ikhukhumezekile?
Ukufuna umfazi ngezinye izikhathi kuyakhula ibe yinkinga njalo kumyeni wakhe - "kumele", "kufanele", "ungumuntu". Ukubusa komfazi akuthandi amadoda amaningi. Baqala ukulahlekelwa yinhloko yabo yesilisa emndenini. Nakuba kudingekile ukuvuma, iningi lezindima ezinjalo namuhla lihlela. Uma labo bantu abathintekayo bezizwa bengabalulekile emndenini, khona-ke bayakwazi ukuzikhandla ngokuzithoba futhi bangenakuziphendulela ekuxazululeni izinkinga zomndeni. Kodwa kufaneleka umfazi ukuba "aqhube" ngaphezulu, afeze imisebenzi yakhe, ukuze "awele ngemuva".
Kwabesifazane abaningi lokhu kuyinto evamile. Kulesi simo, abesifazane kufanele benze zonke izindima emndenini ngesikhathi esifanayo futhi babe "izindlu". Abaningi babo bangaqhinga, bakhononda ngomyeni wakhe, bachaza isithombe esivamile sokucabanga kwengqondo. Phela, ekuqaleni bazikhethela indima "enkulu" ebuhlotsheni babo.
Kusho ukuthini - kuhloswe?
Uma ubheka inkinga ngokubanzi, futhi uma ubheka lesi simo njengenkinga, kuyacaca ukuthi abesifazane abaningi abazi ukuxazulula le nkinga. Bajwayele indima yabo "eqinile" futhi "baqiniseka" ngokufaneleka kwabo, hhayi ukucabanga ngeminye imibono emndenini. Kodwa phakathi kwabesifazane kukhona ngempela labo abavele bephupha "ngezintambo eziphikisayo" kubathandekayo babo futhi bafuna ukuba nendoda ene-henpeck eduze kwayo, ikakhulukazi uma kunesithakazelo sempahla.
Amantombazane amaningi enetha abuza umbuzo - indlela yokwenza indoda ekhukhumezekile ngomkakhe? Futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, banikwa izeluleko eziningi kumawebhusayithi we "gurus" wendawo. Abesifazane abaningi "abanolwazi" kule ndaba bakhuthaza amantombazane anomuzwa wokuthi ngokwenza indoda ekhukhumezekile bayokwazi ukuthola "umuntu ofanelekayo" ozofeza ngenjabulo zonke izifiso zabo.
Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi umuntu "wangempela" noma "omuhle" ngumuntu othatha umthwalo ogcwele ngenhlalakahle nokuchuma komndeni . Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngeke aqondiswe ngokuphelele yizinkolelo zowesifazane ezindabeni eziyisisekelo. Kodwa udinga ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo nangokwenyama kumfazi othandekayo wakhe.