Ukuze ufeze imigomo ebekiwe, udinga ukuzethemba wena namakhono akho, nquma; kodwa ungadibanisi injongo nenkani. Ngaphandle kwezici zobuntu, kunzima ukufeza impumelelo oyifunayo. Ukuzikhandla konke kanye nokuzikhandla kuyoba yize uma, ngemva kokuhluleka, ushiye. Ngakho-ke, ukuzethemba nokuqiniswa kuyadingeka ukuze kufinyelelwe futhi kuthuthukiswe imiphumela. Kodwa lapha into eyinhloko ukuthi ube nomqondo wokulingana nokuqonda. Ngempela, ukuzethemba ngokweqile kungalimaza, ngoba ingahle iguqulwe ibe yi-narcissism ngokweqile.
Ukucindezeleka kuyinkinga enzima
Ekukhulumisaneni nasekubambisaneni nabantu, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthola ukuyekethisa. Futhi ukubonakala nokubonakaliswa ngendlela yobunkani kuyimbangela yokuphikisana. Ngokuyinhloko, abantu abanenkani banesimo esinzima. Abafuni ukuqhubeka phambili, kodwa ume ngokuqiniseka, ungafuni ukulalela enye iphuzu lokubuka. Lokhu kulandelwa yi-whims nenkani. Abantu abadala abanjalo akudingeki bona, kodwa ngokuphambene nalokho, phenduka. Lokhu kungalimaza kakhulu futhi kulimaze idumela lomuntu onzima. Khona-ke umbuzo onengqondo uvela: "Indlela yokubhekana nenkani"?
Ukuziqhenya kungokwengqondo
Ukuze uxazulule noma iyiphi inkinga okudingayo ukuze uthole imbangela yayo. Ngokuyinhloko, abantu "abanenkani" abangenangqondo ngenxa yokuthi banqika ukuvumelana nemibono ehlukile eyabo. Umuntu akaqapheli izixazululo ezihlukile zenkinga. Uyeka kuphela iphuzu lomuntu siqu futhi angaboni okunye okusemandleni. Ngenxa yalokho, izimbangela ezivame kakhulu zokucindezela, inkani:
- ukuzithemba ngokweqile. Uma "I" lakho siqu lidlula noma yini enye.
- ngokuphambene ngokuphelele nesizathu sangaphambilini - isifiso sokuzibiza. Abantu abangavikelekile bafuna ukwenza lokhu ngezindleko zabanye. Abanye abantu bayithola. Isibonelo, ngobunzima bomuntu oyedwa, abantu abazungezile bavumelana naye. Indoda enenkani iyafeza umgomo wayo, ithole umuzwa wokubaluleka kanye nomqondo wokunqoba.
- "Ubuwula buyinto evamile." Ngesinye isikhathi, abantu abanolwazi olulinganiselwe, banengqondo encane futhi abakwazi ukulalela abanye, qaphela iningi lezinketho. Bayaneliseka ngombono wabo futhi bawuvikela ngokuqiniseka.
- isidingo sokunakwa. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka futhi hhayi ebuntwaneni. Lokhu kuziphatha kungabonakala emisebenzini yabasebenzi, lapho isisebenzi esithulile siqala ukubeka imithetho yakhe ngokuqinile.
Kukhona uhlu lokuzivocavoca, indlela yokuqeda inkani:
- Zibeke endaweni yomuntu ophikisana naye. Mhlawumbe, zibhalele izinto eziningi ezithakazelisayo ezingakaqaphelwa ngaphambili.
- Yiba nesithakazelo emibonweni yabanye abantu. Khona-ke uzothola okunye.
- Hamba ukuyekethisa. Uma usenza lokhu kanye, kuzoba lula kuwe ukuthi ukwenze kwenye.
- Zama ukuqonda omunye umuntu.
- Cabanga ukuthi kungani lokhu okushiwo umngane wakho. Mhlawumbe kuyinto elula ngempela, inzuzo futhi inenzuzo?
- Bheka umbuzo ovela emaqondeni ahlukene. Futhi ikhambi le nkinga livela engxenyeni ehlukile.
- Yiba nomgomo.
- Ungaqondiswa hhayi imizwelo, kodwa ngesizathu.
- Ungacabangi ukuthi uma ushintsha umbono wakho ngezinto ezithile, khona-ke ulahlekelwa. Cha, kunalokho! Lokhu kusho ukuthi uhlakaniphe, ukhule futhi uthuthuke. Ungabi namahloni ngalokhu.
- Khumbula, ukwamukela amaphutha akho akuyona ihlazo.
Indlela yokunqoba nokunqoba inkani?
Uma u-interlocutor wakho ubonisa ukuphikelela nokucindezela, ke:
- Hlala uzolile! Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu.
- Cabanga, mhlawumbe uphikisana ngento efanayo?
- Ungaphenduli kumhlukumezi. Ungamlandeli indoda enenkani.
- Mtshele ukuthi uzwa umbono wakhe. Mcele ukuba aqaphele lakho. Mhlawumbe ukuhlola okuhlosiwe kuyomphoqa ukuba ahlole isimo kusuka kolunye uhlangothi.