Indlela yokuphumelela nokuzethemba? Kwabesifazane abaningi banamuhla, le nkinga ingaphezu kokufanelekile. Bheka nxazonke futhi uzobona inqwaba, noma ngisho namakhulu, abesifazane basendulo nabagogo obudala, bagcwaliswe ngokuphila nokugcoba, ngokulangazelela nokungabi nalutho emehlweni abo. "Yisiphi isizathu futhi kungani bazinikela ekuphileni okunjalo?" - uyabuza. Impendulo ilula - iningi labo linesizotha kakhulu ukuze bakwazi ukuthandana nabo, bayeka ukuba yisisulu sezimo futhi bahlangabezane nempumelelo. Uma ukhathazekile usuku nosuku ngombuzo wokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokuzithoba, iseluleko esivela kulesi sihloko ngokuqinisekile sizosiza ukuzibheka ngokwakho nezinkimbinkimbi zakho ezivela kolunye uhlangothi.
Indlela yokuphakamisa ukuzethemba komuntu wesimanje?
Okokuqala, ukukhumbula ukuthi ukuzethemba okuphansi akuyona isifo, futhi kungenakukwazi ukulungiswa. Futhi uma uzitholile kuqoqo lezinkimbinkimbi, kanye nezikhathi zokugxeka umuntu wakho, kusho ukuthi empilweni yakho kwakukhona umhlabathi omuhle wokuvuka kwabo. Bheka inkumbulo yakho bese uzama ukuthola izizathu zokungabaza kwakho.
Isibonelo, sibhala uhlu lwabo oluvame kakhulu:
- Ukuxhumana nabazali ebuntwaneni. Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi izinkinga zethu eziningi zivela ebuntwaneni. Futhi kulo mbuzo: "Indlela yokwandisa ukuzethemba?" I-Psychology inikeza, okokuqala, ubuke esikhathini esidlule. Izingane, njenge-sponge, zithatha noma yiziphi amagama abazali ababhekiswe kuzo. Futhi uma ingane izwa njalo ukugxekwa, khona-ke uyayithatha njengendlela evamile, futhi lapho esekhulile engacabangi ukuthi mhlawumbe kufanelekile. Enye iphutha elingahambi kahle igama elithi "kufanele" elithandwa abazali abaningi. Kumelwe ube smart, njengabazali, okuhle ukufunda, njll. Ngenxa yalokho, umuntu uqala ukwesaba ukuthi angamjabulisi abanye kanye nobuningi bezinye izingqinamba.
- Ukuthembela emibonweni yabanye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu unzima kangakanani ukuzama ukufika phambili, kuzohlale kukhona labo abaqala ukumgxeka futhi bazame ukumnciphisa. Uma umuntu evame ukulalela imibono yabantu abangabazi - lokhu kusongela ukunciphisa ukuzethemba kwakhe.
- Ukunikeza ukubaluleka komcimbi omubi. Kunezimo ezidambisa ukholo lwethu kithi namakhono ethu. Lokhu kuholela ekuqaphelweni kokuzihlonipha. Isibonelo, uma uzitshela ukuhlukana kumuntu othandekayo, khona-ke ukuziqhenya kwakho nokuzihlonipha kwakho kuzokuwela phansi.
- Ibha elingaphezulu kakhulu lemisebenzi ebalulekile. Abanye abantu ekuphishekeleni impumelelo babeka imigomo engaphezu kwamandla abo. Ngokuvamile, isizathu sifushane kakhulu ukuze singafinyeleleki. Ngokwemvelo, ukungatholi lokho abakufunayo, bayeke ukukholwa ngokwabo namandla abo.
Ngenhlanhla, namuhla umuntu unolwazi olwanele lokutshela indlela yokubhekana nokuzithoba okuphansi. Kuzohlinzeka kalula zonke izinhlobo zezincwadi, izifundo, ukuqeqeshwa kanye nokweluleka kwazengqondo. Uma unesithakazelo sokuthi ngokushesha ukwandisa ukuzethemba, izindlela ezilula kuzokusiza, okungasetshenziswa ngokuzimela, ekhaya.
Ungakwandisa kanjani ukuzethemba kwakho?
Okokuqala, kudingeka uqaphele kanye naso sonke - izinkinga zakho ngokuzihlonipha akuyona nje indlela yokucabanga eye yaba umkhuba. Ujwayele ukungakholelwa kuwe, usujwayele ukucabanga ukuthi awukwazi ukubhekana nokunye, njll. Okwamanje, impilo yethu yonke yimiphumela yemicabango yethu. Ngakho-ke, zonke izindlela zokwandisa ukuzethemba, kufanele zisekelwe ekuguquleni imicabango yakho. Futhi kufanele uqale ngokushintsha i-algorithm yokucabanga. Nakhu okwenzekayo:
- ubhekene nesimo esithile;
- uyawuhlaziya futhi ucabange ngawo;
- unesimo sengqondo esithile esimweni;
- uqala ukuziphathe ngokuvumelana nemicabango yakho nemizwa yakho.
Ukuze ushintshe isitimela esivelele sokucabanga futhi wenze le algorithm isebenze ukwandisa ukuzethemba, sebenzisa uhlelo lokusebenza oluye lwasiza ukuphendula umbuzo wokuthi ukwandisa ukuzethemba kanjani kwentombazane:
- Vuka nsuku zonke bese ulala ngala mazwi: "Nginjengami, futhi ngiyakuthanda ngale ndlela."
- Phakade ukhohlwe lesi siqalo "CHA". Zitshele ukuthi: "Ngifanele!", "Ngiyakwazi!", "Ngizokwenza!"
- Ungaziphendulele kunoma ubani ngenxa yezenzo zakho. Qiniseka ukuthi wenza konke okulungile, ngisho noma othile engayithandi. Lena impilo yakho kanye nemibono yakho.
- Yeka ukuziqhathanisa nabanye. Ungaboni ukuthi othile wenza noma yini engcono kunawe. Kwenye indawo, amathalenta akho akhulu kakhulu. Kholwa kuyo.
- Zibuke ngokwakho kanye ikhabethe lakho. Phonsa wonke ama-shades amhlophe nokungaqondakali. Ukubuka imfashini, ngokuvamile uya emasiloni omuhle. Yenza umkhuba wakho wokucabanga ukuthi uyakufanelekela, njengeNdlovukazi yangempela.
- Unganiki wonke umuntu kwabanye. Ngisho noma zingabantwana bakho nomyeni wakho. Izihlobo zakho zizoneliseka kakhulu uma zithola isidlo esilula kanye nomama omuhle onomusa kunokudla kwasebukhosini kanye ne-woman's tired-angry-yaga.
- Zithokoze ngazo zonke izenzo ezinhle eziphathelene nawe. Hlela amaholide amahora omphefumulo wakho nomzimba wakho. Zikhuthaze, khuluma amazwi akhulisa ukuzethemba, futhi uzothola ukuvumelana kwangaphakathi.
- Funda ukuqeda imicabango engalungile, ngokushesha nje lapho bekwazi ukufika engqondweni yakho. Ukuphila kwethu yilokho esikucabanga ngakho. Zamukele ngokwakho konke ukushiyeka. Kancane kancane bayoba yizintandokazi zakho, futhi mhlawumbe okugqamile kwakho, okuzowuthandwa ngabanye. Futhi into eyinhloko ukuthi wena ngokwakho uzoqala ukuzithandayo.