Ngaphambi kokungena emfuleni onesivunguvungu ongenakulinganiswa obizwa ngokuthi "ubudlelwano obukhululekile", cabanga: yini oyidingayo? Ufunani kubo? Futhi uzimisele ukuzinikela uma izinto zingahambi kahle, njengoba uhlele?
Lisho ukuthini inkulumo ethi "ubudlelwane bekhululekile"?
Yiqiniso, singasho ukuthi lokhu kungukubambisana kwabalingani abanezinga eliphakeme lokuziqhenya kanye nentuthuko yomuntu siqu, okungukuthi, abantu abazimele, abazethembayo abachitha isikhathi ndawonye kuphela ngoba bazizwa behle futhi bekhululekile ndawonye. Akukho ukuzibophezela, ukuzwa, umsebenzi, umhawu noma ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa. Konke kusekelwe kuphela ekukhethweni kwamahhala kokubili nokulungela kunoma yikuphi ukujika kwezenzakalo.
Kodwa ukuguqulwa kocansi okufezekile, kusitshela ngokucacile ukuthi inkululeko enjalo ayisho hhayi kuphela kumuntu siqu, kodwa futhi ebuhlotsheni bobulili, ubudlelwane obukhululekile. Yebo. usulungele ukuqaphela wena kuphela, kodwa futhi umlingani wakho unelungelo "lokushiya".
Uma umfana ephikelela ngobuhlobo obuvulekile - akumangalisi. Kuye, lokhu kunezici eziningi ezinhle: akukho izibopho, akukho mthwalo wemfanelo kuye. Mhlawumbe lokhu akubaluleke kakhulu kuwe kuleli qembu lobuhlobo, kodwa kuyakuba kuhle ukucabanga ukuthi kungani umfana efuna ubudlelwano obukhululekile - kungani beya kuye? Futhi kungani ubadinga?
Ubuhlobo obunjalo buvame ukwenzeka ezimweni ezimbili: noma ngabe omunye womshado ulungele noma yini, nje ukuba usondelane nomuntu omthandayo, noma ubuhlobo besikhashana ngaphandle kokumangalisa ngokomzwelo, ngaphandle kwesihawu noma lula, kuze kube sekugcineni okunye okuzuzisa kakhulu. Kuphi indawo ozizwa ukhululekile kakhulu - khetha wena. Into eyodwa icacile: ubudlelwane bezocansi mahhala yindlela yabantu abavuthiwe kakhulu nabanamandla abawazi ngokucacile ukuthi bafunani futhi bangakha imibono engadingekile mayelana nomlingani, ngaphandle kwalokho ukugwaba okushisiwe kungahlala phakade eshaweni ngemuva kwalokhu.
Ngicabanga ukuthi into enzima kunazo zonke kuleli bhizinisi ukuthola ngamanye amantombazane esoka lakho futhi uthathe kalula, uma kunjalo, awunandaba naye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukhathalela, ububele kanye nokuqiniseka komunye wethu ofuna usuku lonke. Okokugcina, okuyikho, kungokwakho, kodwa khumbula njalo - ufanelwe okuhle kakhulu. Lowo olungele ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo futhi akunakekele, hhayi kuphela ukushayela emabhokisini asebusuku kwenye eyodwa eyaziyo isimiso. Futhi lokhu kungcono, mhlawumbe, endaweni ethile eduze. Mhlawumbe kufanelekile ukubheka nxazonke?
Mayelana nobuhlobo bomshado emshadweni, kungase kube nezinketho ezihlukahlukene. Isibonelo, umbhangqwana oshadile uhlala ndawonye hhayi ngenxa yokuthi banothando futhi bahlala ndawonye, kodwa ngenxa yokuthi bakhululekile - banezingane ezivamile, basungulwe impilo yansuku zonke, ingcebo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ibhizinisi. Eqinisweni, lokhu, mhlawumbe, nakakhulu kakhulu kunomndeni ekuqondeni kwethu, kungakanani ukusebenzisana okunjalo.
Ngezinye izikhathi umfazi nje uyaqaphela ilungelo lomyeni wakhe "lokushiya". Futhi ngandlela-thile ichaza ngokucacile. Isibonelo, isithembu sesilisa noma iqiniso elidabukisayo kumantombazane amahle, ongazange athole umuntu okhululekile. Ekuboneni kokuqala, kungase kubonakale ukuthi lo mndeni unobungane obukhululekile. Kodwa konke kungase kube kude kakhulu. Kungcono, ngaphambi kokwenza iziphetho, emva kokubuza bonke umyeni wakhe: "Uzizwa kanjani ngobudlelwano obukhulu emndenini wakho?" Futhi, kungenzeka ukuthi uzozwa ukuthi ilungelo lokukhulula ubudlelwane bobulili emndenini uyazibona yena kuphela, kodwa luhlobo luni lenkululeko uma lo mdlalo ufika emgomweni owodwa?
Yiqiniso, umuntu akakwazi ukulahlekelwa yisizukulwane esincane, okungukuthi impilo yakhe yomndeni nomndeni ingathatha amafomu akhethekile futhi azimele. Noma kunjalo, izizukulwane ezindala nazo zingaqala konke okukhuni. Kule nkathi yobuhlanga bobuhlanga benkinga, kungase kubonakale sengathi kukhona okubalulekile kudlula futhi udinga konke
Yiqiniso, uma lokhu kukhethwa ngokuzikhethela kwabantu abadala abazimele ngaphandle kwemicabango, ngani? Akuwona wonke umuntu olungele ukuqhubeka efuna isigamu sakhe noma ekulindeni kwakhe ukuhola indlela yokuphila yama-monastic. Kodwa into esemqoka ukukhumbula ukuthi umndeni akusho ukuthi "ukungabi nenkululeko", futhi ubudlelwane obuvumelanayo namanje kungenzeka!