Ukuqinisekiswa kwengqondo - kuyini futhi ukuyihlakulela kanjani?

Umuntu oqinisayo ungumuntu ophumelelayo, ozimele, futhi ngokuvamile abantu abanjalo bayathukuthela futhi balahlwe abanye, kuyilapho abanye bebangela umuzwa wokubonga nomona. Ukuqinisekiswa kuyinkhono engathuthukiswa uma ifunwa.

Kuyini ukuqinisekiswa?

Ukuqinisekiswa kuyisibonelo sokuziphatha komuntu oye wathinta ngokuphelele imizwa yakhe, imizwelo, indlela aphila ngayo ekuphileni kwakhe kanye nobuhlobo emphakathini. Umqondo wokuqinisekisa uvela olimini lwesiNgisi, uhunyushwa njengokuvikela umbono womuntu, amalungelo futhi uboniswa ekuthumeni: "Anginakho lutho kuwe, njengami wena, silingana nabo".

Ukuqinisekiswa kwe-Psychology

Ngokokuqala ngqa, umqondo wokuziphendulela wazibonakalisa kuma-50s ekhulu lama-XX. emisebenzini ka-A. Salter (isazi sezengqondo saseMelika-isintu). Ngombono wakhe, u-A. Salter wahlanganisa ukubaluleka komuntu emphakathini, ukwakheka kobudlova obuvikelekile nokulawula ukuziphatha okukhohlisa, ubuhlobo obunjalo phakathi kwabantu buholela ekupheleni kokufa, ososayensi wakholwa. Esinye isibalo sokuhlukumezeka ukungabi nomusa, kungukuziphatha okungazenzisi, nokuziphatha komuntu kuphela, kumbono ka-A. Salter, unamakhono amaningi adingekayo emphakathini.

Izimpawu zokuziphatha okuqinisayo

Ukuziphatha okunomqondo umqondo ofana kakhulu nokuzwanela futhi ngokuvamile kufana nawo. Ngeziphi izizathu ongathola ukuziphatha okuqinisayo:

• lowo muntu uyazibona ngokwanele futhi ngokuziqhenya yena nabanye;
• ukuthula ngaphakathi nangaphandle;
• Ukuhlola ngokufanele izenzo zabo;
• inhloso;
• ukuveza ngobuqotho imizwa yakhe;
• ivikela imikhawulo yayo futhi ihlonipha imingcele yabanye abantu;
• Ulalela ngokucophelela futhi akunike lonke indaba;
• kugcina ukuxhumana kwamehlo ne-interlocutor;
• inesibopho ngokugcwele ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa yakhe;
• uyazi ukuthi angancibilika kanjani nemizwa yabanye abantu.

Imithetho yokuziphatha okuqinisayo

Ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo kuhilela ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo wakho empilweni yakho nokuthi kwenzekani kuwo. Izimiso ezijwayelekile noma imithetho, elandela ekuthuthukiseni kwayo umuntu oye waqala indlela yokuqinisekisa:

1. Ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo nabantu abakuyisihluthulelo sobuqotho, ukwethembeka nokunganaki.
2. Ukuboniswa kwenhloso enhle.
3. Ukungabandakanyeki ekuxabaneni nasekuboniseni ukuhlukunyezwa kwabanye
4. Hlonipha iphuzu lokubukwa kwe-interlocutor, hhayi ukulimaza yena.
5. Ukuzama ukubambisana nokusebenzisana okuzuzisayo kokubili.

Amalungelo wobuntu abanobugebengu

Abantu abaye basekela lo mqondo ongokwengqondo balandela ukuthunyelwa okunye okushiwo nguManuel Smith (wase-American psychotherapist) encwadini yakhe ethi "Ukuqeqesha ukuzethemba". Amalungelo okuhlaselwa asekelwe ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi umuntu ngamunye unamalungelo:

• hlola ukuziphatha kwabo, imizwa, imicabango;
• ungachazi futhi ungaxolisi;
• Nquma ukuthi kungakanani noma akuyona into enesibopho sokuxazulula izinkinga zabanye;
• shintsha ingqondo yakho;
• yenza amaphutha;
• uthi "Angazi!".
• ungathembeki emibonweni enhle yabanye;
• wenze izinqumo ezingenangqondo.
• "Ungaqondi" konke okunye.
• ngokuvulekile, ngaphandle kwecala, ukusho ukuthi "Angikuthandi!".

Indlela yokulinganisa ukuqinisekiswa?

Ukuze uzwisise umuntu onomuntu obambelelayo, noma unesifiso kulolu hlobo lokuziphatha, kukhona ukuhlolwa okulula kokuqinisekisa, lapho kudingeka khona ukuphendula "Yebo", "Cha" kumbuzo ohlongozwayo:

1. Amaphutha abanye abangela ukucasuka kimi.
2. Ngiyakwazi ukukhumbuza ngomoya ophansi umngane womsebenzi wami wangaphambilini.
3. Ngezinye izikhathi ngiqamba amanga.
4. Ngiyakwazi ukuzinakekela mina.
5. Kwakungadingeki ngikhokhele ukuthutha ezokuthutha.
6. Ukuphikisana kuveza ukwedlula ukusebenzisana.
7. Ngikhathazekile ngezingcingo.
8. Ngizimisele kakhulu futhi ngizimele.
9. Nginomzwelo wothando kubo bonke engibaziyo.
10. Nginokholo kimi futhi ngiqonda ukuthi ngizobhekana nezinkinga eziningi.
11. Kumelwe ngihlale ngiqaphe futhi ngivikele izithakazelo zami.
12. Angihleki amahlaya angcolile.
13. Ngiyaqaphela futhi ngiyahlonipha iziphathimandla.
14. Angikwazi ukwenza izintambo ngiphume kimi - ngiyabhikisha.
15. Ukuqala okuhle kusekelwa yimi.
16. Angiqambi amanga.
17. Ngiyasebenza.
18. Ngicindezelekile yilokho okushiwo ukwehluleka kwecala.
19. Izwi elithi, "Ukufuna isandla sosizo, ngaphezu kwakho konke ehlombe lakho" kungenza ngivumelane.
20. Abangane bangithonya kakhulu.
21. Njalo ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngisho noma abanye bengaboni ukufaneleka kwami.
22. Ukubamba iqhaza kuqakathekile kunokwina.
23. Ngaphambi kokuba ngenze noma yini, ngihlaziya futhi ngicabange ukuthi abanye abantu bayakucabanga ngani.
24. Umona kimi akuyona into ekhethekile.

Kubalulekile ukubala inani lezitatimende ezinhle ezihlwini:

• Ukhiye A: 1,6,7,11,13,18,20,23.
• Isihluthulelo B: 2,4,8,10,14,17,19,22.
• Isihluthulelo C: 3,5,9,12,15,16,21,24.

1. Isihluthulelo A ukuhola ngenani lezimpendulo eziqondile: kunezethulo mayelana nokuqinisekisa, kodwa empilweni ayifakiwe. Kulelizinga, ukunganeliseki akuhlobene nabanye kuphela, kodwa ngokwakho. Inkomba encane kunazo zonke zokuphendula okuhle: umuntu akasebenzisi amathuba amaningi empilweni.
2. Isihluthulelo ngu B. Uma kunezitatimende ezithandekayo lapha, khona-ke umuntu angabheka ngokuphepha umuntu endleleni efanele ukuze aqonde amakhono wokuziphatha okuqinile. Ngezinye izikhathi kungase kube nobudlova. Amaphuzu amancane kunalesi sikhiye asisho ukuthi awukwazi ukufunda ukuqiniswa, kubalulekile ukukhombisa isifiso nokubekezela.
3. Isihluthulelo C : imingcele ephezulu kule nkinobho ibonisa ukuthi amathuba omuntu aphezulu ukuqonda ukuqinisekiswa. Isibonakaliso esincane sezitatimende ezinhle - umuntu usekhohlweni lokuzibona esesimweni esihle kakhulu, ungathandeki yena nabanye. Kunento okumele uyizindle.

Indlela yokuthuthukisa ukuqinisekiswa?

Umuntu ohlukumezayo, lona ngumuntu owaqaphela izimo zakhe ezibhubhisayo futhi wanquma ukushintsha impilo yakhe. Ungathuthukisa ukuzimisela ngokwakho, ngoba lokhu udinga:

• ukubona ngokwakho inkululeko yokukhuluma okubhaliwe noma ubuntu "bokudala";
• qaphela ukuthi abanye abantu nabo banemibono yabo, imizwa nemizwelo yabo ;
• yiba nomusa futhi ngobuqotho.
• bheka, izwi, ubuso nesibonakaliso kufanele kubonise ukuzethemba.

Ukuxhaphazwa nokuqinisekiswa

Ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo ngesikhathi sokuxhaphazwa kuyithuluzi elihle kakhulu ekuphikiseni izifanekiso zabasebenzi, kodwa kunengozi yokuthungela izinga lokuxhaphazwa ekuqaleni kwesigaba sokuqala, lapho kuphela amalungelo omuntu owenza ukuziphatha okuqinisekisayo kubonakala njengenani eliyigugu, ngakho-ke umuntu kufanele aqonde futhi aqaphele ukuthi amalungelo okuqinisekisa abonakala ngesilinganiso esifanayo Amalungelo abanye abantu bese-ke lokhu kuhambisana okulinganayo.

Ukuqinisekisa - izincwadi

Ukuzivocavoca nemikhuba yokuthuthukisa ukuqinisekiswa kuhanjiswa ezincwadini ezithengiswa kakhulu:

1. "Ungakwenza kanjani konke ngendlela yakho." S. Bishop . Umuntu oqinisayo ngumuntu ophumelelayo ophikisana nokuphathwa nokuhlukunyezwa. Le ncwadi ihlola izindlela zokuvikela izithakazelo zabo, ngaphandle kokuzama ukungena empini.
2. "Ulimi lokuphila. Ukukhulumisana okungahambisani nobudlova. " M. Rosenberg . I-NGO indlela isize izinkulungwane zabantu futhi ishintshe izimpilo zabo zibe ngcono.
3. "Umbono nemikhuba yokuqinisekisa, noma Indlela yokuvuleka, esebenzayo kanye nemvelo." G. Lindelfield . Le ncwadi ichaza izindlela zokuthuthukisa izimfanelo zokuzimela ukuze usebenze ngokuphumelelayo nabantu.